The Fabled Notebook was an Office institution. It chronicles the life and times of the Office from November 2001 to March 2002. O glorious days that they were.<\/p>\n
In this most glorious account, entries were written by:
\n(D) – Dave
\n(DT) – Chuckie
\n(CM) – C. James Marshall III
\n(GJ) – George Jones<\/p>\n
6th November<\/strong> 7th November<\/strong> 8th November<\/strong> 12th November<\/strong> 13th November<\/strong> 14th November<\/strong> 15th November<\/strong> 16th November<\/strong> 19th November<\/strong> 20 NOV 2001<\/strong> 21st NOVEMBER<\/strong> 22th NOVEMBER<\/strong> 26th November<\/strong> 27\/11\/01<\/strong> 28th NOVEMBER<\/strong> 29th November<\/strong> 30th November<\/strong> 3rd December<\/strong> 4nd DECEMBER 2001<\/strong> Hello NOTHING! (D)<\/p>\n 6th DECEMAMEMBER<\/strong> 7th December<\/strong> 10th December<\/strong> 11th December<\/strong> 12st DECEMBER<\/strong> BOING! (D)<\/p>\n 13th December<\/strong> 14th December<\/strong> 17th December<\/strong> 4 DAYS!!! 18th December<\/strong> 3 DAYS!! 19th December <\/strong>2 DAYS!! 20th December<\/strong> 1 DAY!! CHRISTMAS PARTY PAGE!!! (aka 21st December)<\/strong> DECEMBER 25<\/strong> (Christmas Day) 7th January<\/strong> 8th January<\/strong> 9th January<\/strong> 10st JANUARY<\/strong> 11th January<\/strong> 14st JANUARY<\/strong> National Chocolate Orange DAY! (D) 15th January<\/strong> 16th January<\/strong> 17th January<\/strong> 18th January<\/strong> SHOTGUN = YES 21th January<\/strong> 22nd January<\/strong> 23rd January<\/strong> 24st JANUARY<\/strong> NATIONAL SILLY WEEK 28nd JANUARY<\/strong> 29ST january<\/strong> 30th Janvoy<\/strong> LAST DAY OF JANUARY!! (31th)<\/strong> 1ST FEBRUARY<\/strong> 4th February<\/strong> 5th February<\/strong> 6th February<\/strong> Can we talk yet? (D) 7th February<\/strong> 8th February<\/strong> 18th February<\/strong> Eyes should never be blue! 19th February 2002<\/strong> 20\/02\/2002<\/strong> HA DAVE! ITS FILLED Thick Thursday<\/strong> ERONIUS FRIDAY<\/strong> HATE WEEK<\/strong><\/em> HATE WEEK<\/strong><\/em> HATE WEEK<\/em> HATE WEEK<\/em> HATE WEEK<\/em> Tuesday 5th March<\/strong>
\nAround the edge of your compass you should find a variety of different ruler markings to help you measure distances on a variety of maps (CM)<\/p>\n
\nGooseberries prefer a well-drained soil (CM)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Funkle get yer teeth.\u00e2\u20ac? (CM)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153My loins can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t go on anymore\u00e2\u20ac?. (CM)
\nThe first task here is to recognise that a question is a salt hydrolysis question. (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153EVERYDAY IS REMEMBERANCE DAY\u00e2\u20ac? Chuckie (DT)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mounted whiteboard\u00e2\u20ac?. (CM)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153ON \u00e2\u20ac\u0153CHUCKIES ONSLAUGHT\u00e2\u20ac? ALL THE SOVIETS KILLED AND ALL OF THE ALLIES NOT INC. ABOUT 12 BOATS AND ONE TECHNICIAN LABELLED No. 9.
\nNET RESULT: –
\n– 14% ECONOMY
\n– 0% LEADERSHIP
\n– 199 ALLIES KILLED
\n– 206 SOVIETS (but we may re-load it and kill more ships to make ally kills exceed soviet)\u00e2\u20ac? (DT)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Vaulting ambition, total control\u00e2\u20ac?. (CM)
\nSwitch before winding (CM)<\/p>\n
\nChuckie wins a webtat pen! Congratulations! (CM)
\nNever complicate things by doing everything right! (D)
\nHe stole my thought before I had a chance to think of it! (D)
\n(DAVE JUST GRINS) (D)<\/p>\n
\nTeslatanks = yes (CM)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153ELECTRON. PORN ROMP\u00e2\u20ac? brackets open In Russian accent close brackets (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I like Banana yoghurt\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Indigo is a nice colour\u00e2\u20ac? (GJ)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Whup they ass\u00e2\u20ac?. (CM)
\nBlow that out your ass and smoke it JIM! (D)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get the dog. There were all these people and they stopped talking and stared at me\u00e2\u20ac?. (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Marshall Law\u00e2\u20ac? \u00e2\u20ac\u201c (Pun not intended) (DT)<\/p>\n
\nDave has a female aura (oh yeah) (CM)<\/p>\n
\nThey fit in but they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fire \u00e2\u20ac\u201c (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u01531 white board and a pen\u00e2\u20ac? (GJ)<\/p>\n
\nMEUEUR Bidit bidit bidit bidit. MEUEUR (CM)
\nWhat the blimey hell do you think you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re playing at? (CM)<\/p>\n
\nBeans
\nProduce methane
\nMake you fart. (CM)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nuke troop, a woo ooo!\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153That didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do much taking that screw out! Oh it did, I got a lump of metal!\u00e2\u20ac? (D)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Adoingly Adoingly adoringly!\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\nCHEMISTRY BOY!
\nRevised edition:
\nCHEMISTRY BWOI! (D)
\nBIG MOLECULES = SCARY! (DT)<\/p>\n
\nJazzy seediness (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gangbang dinner\u00e2\u20ac? (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Emotional bigotry?\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n
\nMr. Cockall
\nWhat did you write?<\/p>\n
\nBLU-TACK BASKET BWOI! (CM)
\nThat all the balls you got Santa? (GJ)
\nTENSION IN THE RANKS! (D)<\/p>\n
\nPinkyPinkyPinkyCheeseCheeseCheeseCheesep (D)
\nThe beauty of Wood or conviniance of PVC\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 You have to choose. (DT)
\nDongloss: FREE LUNCH BOX (D)<\/p>\n
\nNational Super! Goody Battery makey thing! (D)<\/p>\n
\nPelvic thrusts to Bing Crosby = NO
\nPelvic thrusts to Mariah Carey = YES (D)<\/p>\n
\nPiggyvids! (CM)
\nDeer hunter, you have to shoot deer!
\nDe ya? Joke
\nDeer? (D)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153They call him Corporal, Corporal Chuckie!\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\nEIGHTIES GUITAR SOLO, QVC STYLEE! (D)<\/p>\n
\nYE SHIT! YE MAM\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S SHIT! (D)<\/p>\n
\nAh, mm, eh, ah, ow, eh, mm, my world, eh mm, ah, eh, eh, ow, ah, mm, girl, ah, yeah, eh, ah, mm, ah, ow, eh, my world, ah, mm, OW. (CM)
\nNO MUSIC + NO DRIVER = SHOD (CM)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153You have the gums of a god\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Jesus Christ it smells like someone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s farted mayonnaise\u00e2\u20ac? (D)<\/p>\n
\nGeorge is excited\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 oh dear! (D)
\nMIND YOR FEET DEEVE! (D)
\nType in climate first in searchness. (CM)
\nFAIRY LIGHTS!<\/p>\n
\nWho\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going to win?
\nMY LOINS (D)
\nOKTION = Auction (D)
\nTumbridge Wells (D)
\nI MING
\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122M A MUNTER (D)<\/p>\n
\nIM FLAMING HIS GROIN (D)
\nCREAMY MOUTH FILLED GOODNESS (D)
\nMUSICAL CHAIRS (CM)<\/p>\n
\nQuite cold today
\nDave was tedious on RED ALERT
\nSilly antics 7+8
\nNew blue tack basket by Chuckie.
\nGeorge turned music down. (GJ)<\/p>\n7th<\/strong><\/strike><\/p>\n
\nI like my songs hast and fard! (D)
\n19 + 16 = 25 (?!?) (D)
\nAnd in her EYES you see NOTHING! (D)<\/p>\n
\nBin Emptied for first time since donkeys Years (tests show early quaternary period (17thNov01)) (DT)
\n_________________
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153RENH eooh OEnh\u00e2\u20ac? (DT)<\/p>\n
\nWe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re helping the children to help the children. Because if we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t help the children then no one will help the children and then the children won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be helped. (D)
\nCan\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t they help themselves? (CM)<\/p>\n
\nTRUE HEAT (CM)
\nLesbian cow orgy (CM)
\nBy the way\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6
\nMARSHALL isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t here (even though he is). (D)<\/p>\n
\nHomemade tesla coils = YES (but boring) \u00ef\u00ac\u201a They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re fake! (D)
\nHE RUBBED OFF MY COLPHIN!!!! (D)
\nHEY! (in quite camp + silly voice) (D)
\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a Fish Conspiracy against George. Ha! (D)<\/p>\n
\nTARDS = FUCKERS!! (CM)
\n0.25 of an hour = 1\/4 of an hour = 15 minutes. So HA. (CM)<\/p>\n
\nMessage in the bottle = lies (DT)
\nCranwick springwater suitors shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be discredited just because they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t look as nice as Dr. Pepper! (D)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the slickest there is, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the quickest there is, did I say I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the slickest there is?\u00e2\u20ac? – YES! ARGH Limp song lyric there Willie (D)<\/p>\n
\nUp the groinal ass! (D)
\nBig Willy style. (CM)
\nTINTOLPHASITATION BITCH! (D)
\nThat\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s pissing me shitless! (D)
\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all red. RED I tell you RED. (except the top bit) (GJ)<\/p>\n
\nEMERGENCY FISH! (D)
\nLemons\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 (faces of sadness and sacredness) (D)
\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s still a long way to Tipperary. (CM)<\/p>\n
\nRectalphasic (D)
\nCHEMISTRY! KA? FUCK YOU ALL! (D)
\nAAAAARGH \u00e2\u20ac\u201c URGE TO KILL (DT)
\nIn order to lower the grade boundaries and make our exam grades look good we must Kill all the chemistry students in the nation! The Country! THE WORLD! – is Power mad (D)<\/p>\n
\n[space with shocking lines around it] (D)
\nChemistry revision + Aerosmith = SHOD (D)<\/p>\n
\nYOU\u00e2\u20ac\u2122RE NOT LAWRENCE-LLEWLYN BOWEN!
\nThank God! (D)
\nPillbox\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 in your ass! (D)
\nI think my trousers are melting (D)
\nBOLLOCKS YOU DID (CM)<\/p>\n
\nMother fucking George is in Quarantine baby bitch ass mam fucker westside buggery arse poo limper-groinal-man loins groovy whore willy bottom lemons (surprisingly, D)
\nMILLION (ticked off) (D, tick is CM)
\nBIGGER (CM)
\nTwo hearts living in just one mind \u00e2\u20ac\u00a1 (Marshall\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s infamous Phil Collins pic) (D)<\/p>\n
\nYou can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t sail a shit with only half the tards (yesterday). (CM)
\nChair broke (CM)
\nSINGING BALLADS oh my god (CM)
\nTransgenic Bananas and pigs? Yes please! (D)
\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s solely on the ligaments!<\/strike> ligens!<\/strike> ligands – DAVE\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S AN IDIOT! (D)
\nFucking M****S and C*******Y! Fuck \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem in the ass! (D)
\nScrew their EYES! (D)<\/p>\n
\nMelancholy Monday (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153bang\u00e2\u20ac? (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153\u00c3\u2030\u00e2\u20ac? (DT)
\npelvic thrusts to Simon + Garfunkel = NO (CM)
\nCrocodiles aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t warm blooded creatures\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 UNLESS you microwave them!! (D)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Cocoa heart, hard on by you\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What grey chair?\u00e2\u20ac? (GJ)<\/p>\n
\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m there, chew on this, lets rock. (GJ)
\nHello I am Jerry Loins of Loinford academy. Your loins have been selected to take part in Loinsfest 2002, celebrating the greatness of LOINS! (D)
\n31 KITKAT CHUNKYS!!! (D)
\nNational Kit Kat Chunky Day! (DT)<\/p>\n
\nDave homemade explosive poison gas. (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Chuckie\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s aura goes out to here!\u00e2\u20ac? \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t touch it! (DT)
\nKit-kat Chunkys and paper do not go well together (D)
\nLimbs + loins, RARAM\u00e2\u20ac\u2122S coins, buying our stuff, Dave\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s guff! (D)<\/p>\n
\nDear Tony Blair
\nPlease do better at
\nRunning the country
\nFrom Dave XXX (CM)
\nMUCH CHOCOLATE (GJ)
\nFree! as a bird (CM)
\nWanna maybe wanna munter (D)
\nAnd the eggs! And the eggs! – Sing repeatedly (D)<\/p>\n
\n THE WEEK THAT WAS<\/em>
\nMONDAY \u00e2\u20ac\u201c We (Didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t) break a chair that was already half broken
\nTUESDAY \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Bought 31 KitKat Chunkys. Put them in a box \u00c2\u00a310.85
\nWEDNESDAY – Dave ate 5 pages of some Performance Management Policy November 2000. Filled a Lemon fanta bottle with squirty cream, de-pressurised it and left it in the vending machine in the Sixth Form.
\nTHURSDAY – Dave wrote a letter to Tony Blair using a big red marker and his foot (right). Posted it. Chuckie, Marshall and Dave drew a giant war scene on the whiteboard in the 6th form.
\nFRIDAY \u00e2\u20ac\u201c Marshall came to school wearing two pairs of pants. Dave came with no pants. Stole a solution, called it Lilly.
\nEPILOGUE: 35 PEE-EACH!
\n35 PEACH! (D)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Operation Whimsical PICIE\u00e2\u20ac? a failure. Ground TOO impassible need to invest in technology to over come this\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (signed Chuckie). (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yagooo!!!!!!!!!\u00e2\u20ac? (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Get that crate George!\u00e2\u20ac? (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153No I want my ore truck to get..\u00e2\u20ac? (blown up) (GJ)
\nHanding stuff to Dave (CM)
\nSQUIP! (D)
\nDAVE 1128 (D)
\n!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (CM)<\/p>\n
\nWHAT??
\nFINE!
\nYEH! (CM)
\nDAVE 1628 (D)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t it be cool to be a Chinchilla?\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\nBandages! Bandages! (Dave flails arms) (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Men\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 more minging\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 menga mong!\u00e2\u20ac? (D)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Men
\nMore minging
\nMenga mong!\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\nDOLPHIN SUBMARINES (D)
\nSee that? That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wrong. (CM)
\nKEEP TRYING (DT)
\nMr Cockall writes news reports!!! (GJ)
\nShhh (?)
\n[Pencil conversation of quietness:]<\/p>\n
\nI hope so, this is shit (CM)
\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s shit, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mams shit! (D)
\nCan we shout that out in a moment? (CM)
\nYes I think we should. We should shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t we? (D)
\nWe SHOULD, shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t we? When though? (CM)
\nErm, now? (D)
\nCount to 3, he can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t see you. (CM)
\nOk, 1, 2, 3 (D)<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
\nWhere\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the book?! (CM)
\nOh\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 here it is! George found it. (CM)
\nEGGS (D)
\nYummy (DT)<\/p>\n
\nNobody\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 is here\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 apart from\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 me and Chuckie\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 oh dear\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 check it out\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 no awards\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Craig David\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 help me! (D)
\nDE DO DO DO DE DA DA DA IS ALL I WANT TO SAY TO YOU (D)
\nSHOD! (D)
\nBeatles and war \u00e2\u20ac\u201c what is it for? Hard ass bitch Core! I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m beginning to bore (D)
\n[Garfield face] (D)<\/p>\n
\nTHEFT! (CM)
\nReported: the loss of several quids worth of Kit Kat Chunkys. (D)
\nPleasant Monday = Fucked off Monday (D)
\nCOMMUNIST BASTARDS! (CM)<\/p>\n
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153SHITTY TUESDAY\u00e2\u20ac? (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Horace Plunkett\u00e2\u20ac?
\n7 months of history notes and coursework on the tip. HMK not done for next.
\nA year to do Geology coursework and has to be handed in today finishing it in last 10 mins.
\nAll of this makes this Tuesday Shit (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Crate
\nCrit Crat
\nCrat-Crony\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\nAll 3252 But mainly George + Chuckie + 1002193 DOSH! (D)<\/p>\n
\nPalindromic!!! (Chris gets all excited) (CM)
\nor 20.02.02 still works!!! (DT)
\nWRONG WEDNESDAY (CM)
\nGeorge + Chuckie = EXCITED (CM)
\nNEARLY FULL (GJ)
\nNO MORE SPACE! (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153, so mulch with well rotted compost each spring,\u00e2\u20ac? (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153weiviel RAM Ihnen zur\u00e2\u20ac? (CM)
\nCUSTARD CREAMS = WRONG<\/p>\n
\nErm\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s empty. (GJ)<\/p>\n
\nThese biscuits are eronius! (D)
\nFIRE IN THE HOLE! (D)<\/p>\n
\n MONDAY<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c LIGHT
\nSMG ROUNDS \u00e2\u20ac\u201c \u00e2\u20ac\u0153We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re the best bullets in the Bis!\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\nWanna AH wanna AH wanna AAA-AA-AAAH. (CM)
\nMack up the ram (GJ)
\nNational Cupboard Day. (CM)
\nShoot speed, kill light! (D)<\/p>\n
\n TUESDAY<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c NOISE
\nSsssssssssh! (CM)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I wish Mr. Smith was my dad\u00e2\u20ac? (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I GOT A MEDAL\u00e2\u20ac? (GJ)
\nsays George (D)<\/p>\n
\nWEDNESDAY<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c THE COLD
\nDidn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t anybody tell her?
\nDidn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t anybody see? (D)
\nDON\u00e2\u20ac\u2122T BUY GEORGE ANYMORE AEROS!!! or afros or aeronautical gear (D)
\nThird bunkness installed (CM)
\nTURDY BROWN (D)<\/p>\n
\nTHURSDAY<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c SILENCE
\nGet you head away from my food! (Chuckie covers biscuits) (CM)
\nThree people in cupboard all break! (CM)
\nWe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll keep the cupboard (D)<\/p>\n
\nFRIDAY<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u201c SCHOOL
\nI might have fixed it but it burnt my fingers. There was dust everywhere (DT)
\n\u00e2\u20ac\u0153SILLY
\nREALLY
\nREALLY
\nSILLY\u00e2\u20ac? (D)
\nSometimes both George and Chuckie dot their \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcG\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u2122!!!! (D)
\nLAWNSAND (D)
\nTHE END \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 (D)
\nThe Second Notebook<\/strong>
\nRecovered pages from the now lost \u00e2\u20ac\u01532nd Notebook\u00e2\u20ac? that almost all didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t agree with. It was continued behind George\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 back but we lost interest after a few days and it JUST wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like the original one. They include relevant information to the office experience though.<\/p>\n
\nDoggy woof woof BOW wow! (REPEAT (D)
\nPUNTA MEDIA! (D)
\nFUCK PILES! SOLID SKIRT! THICK SHIRT! SHOOT IT! (D)
\nRun you chewy cum stain!! (D)<\/p>\n