{"id":59,"date":"2006-05-23T08:54:12","date_gmt":"2006-05-23T07:54:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pouringbeans.com\/?page_id=59"},"modified":"2006-05-23T13:04:53","modified_gmt":"2006-05-23T12:04:53","slug":"i-am-also-a-subsiduary-of-me","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/?page_id=59","title":{"rendered":"I am also a subsiduary of Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I lack content! Fill me fill me! \ud83d\ude1b If you say so little bean!<\/p>\n<p><u><strong>An Audience with the Queen of Hearts &#8211; An Imaginary Play by Jerry Loinsford<\/strong><\/u><\/p>\n<p><em>**Imagine if you will, it&#8217;s the courtroom setting from Alice in Wonderland but after Alice runs off they decide, hey, let&#8217;s try some other people. So they do. The Queen stands angrily on her throne**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>Queen<\/u>: Bring out the heathens!<\/p>\n<p><em>**A card sentry comes along and is pushing Tom and Jerry along with a pointy stick &#8211; made of metal**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>Queen<\/u>: What is their crime?<br \/>\n<u>King<\/u>: They were asked the time and refused to answer.<\/p>\n<p><em>**By the way, most of this is supposed to rhyme, unless I&#8217;m being clever or can&#8217;t think of a decent word. It&#8217;s a gimic I know**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>Queen<\/u>: Are you sure?<br \/>\n<u>King<\/u>: Positively, as sure as I can see.<br \/>\n<u>Queen<\/u>: What do you have to say to explain your behaviour on this day?<\/p>\n<p><em>**Tom and Jerry being Tom and Jerry are finding it hard to express themselves without the use of huge mallets and roast hams**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>Tom<\/u>: <em>*Shrugs*<br \/>\n<\/em><u>Jerry<\/u>: <em>*Shrugs back*<\/em><br \/>\n<u>Queen<\/u>: Will you not even answer the Queen? <em>*shocked*<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>**The Jury start mumbling in the background**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>Owl<\/u>: Whatever does it mean?<br \/>\n<u>Pelican<\/u>: Certain death I would imagine, just give her a sec.<\/p>\n<p><em>**They&#8217;re both on the jury by the way**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>King<\/u>: Wait a min! Perhaps they have no tongues to speak of.<\/p>\n<p><em>**Great pun there King, plus you know the little guy likes to try and be the voice of reason**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>Sentry<\/u>: That can&#8217;t be true, they must have tongues, it flashes when they cough.<br \/>\n<u>Tom<\/u>: <em>*Points at his tongue*<br \/>\n<\/em><u>Jerry<\/u>: <em>*Closes his mouth and points at Tom*<br \/>\n<\/em><u>Tom<\/u>: <em>*Realises what he&#8217;s done, quickly hides his and points at Jerry*<\/em><br \/>\n<u>King<\/u>: I feel as though we&#8217;re marooned on a battleship, sinking.\u00c2\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>**Jury mumbles again**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>Owl<\/u>: The Queen is now thinking of the best way to remove the heathens who insist on being rude.<br \/>\n<u>Queen<\/u>: Just to ensure they are quite dead, and not in that feeble way cartoons do, poke out their eyes and slice their heads, cut them through and through and through.<\/p>\n<p><em>**Crowd roars, as do the jury, noone is sane here**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>King<\/u>: My dear, will you not reconsider? They only wish to please<br \/>\n<u>Queen<\/u>: They spend all day fighting and chasing and making traps out of rope and cheese. I&#8217;m afraid it&#8217;s over, drag them away to the pit, inflict great suffering and pain.<\/p>\n<p><em>**The card guards drag them off in merriment**<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>King<\/u>: Ah well, it can&#8217;t be helped. Who&#8217;s next to take the blame?<\/p>\n<p>The End<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I lack content! Fill me fill me! \ud83d\ude1b If you say so little bean! An Audience with the Queen of Hearts &#8211; An Imaginary Play by Jerry Loinsford **Imagine if you will, it&#8217;s the courtroom setting from Alice in Wonderland but after Alice runs off they decide, hey, let&#8217;s try some other people. So they [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"parent":27,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-59","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/59","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=59"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/59\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/27"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=59"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}