There are girls who on hills
\nAnd girls who live in towns
\nI was smart enough to find the one to drag me down.<\/p>\n
I brought her some cake, said it was too sweet.
\nI bought her a house, it was on the wrong street.
\nI brought her some drugs, they were the wrong kind,
\nShe wanted the ones that went pop in your mind.<\/p>\n
I gave her a puppy, said its chops were all twisted,
\n“It’s common at that age,” I quietly insisted.
\nWe even made a baby, even that wasn’t correct,
\nHow\u00a0should I\u00a0know she wanted the opposite sex?<\/p>\n
When it came to the end of the world I just frowned,
\nSomething told me there’d be problems around.
\nAnd there was. In spades. Heaped in a pile
\nThat woman there raised a\u00a0wicked smile,
\n“It wasn’t how I planned it,” she said from her chair,
\nLike\u00a0you could plan something\u00a0uncommon, so rare.
\nApparently asteroids and volcanoes and ashes weren’t in,
\nThe path of destruction should be a cosmic explosion.
\nThe colours were too fluid, the temperature too hot,<\/p>\n
By this time I was ready to explode, I kid not.
\nIf it was all going to end in a short space of time
\nI’d rather not spend it listening to\u00a0that thing\u00a0whine.
\nMe and Gerry, out space cadet son,
\nOnly aged eight yet courageous and handsome,
\nWe snuck out the back door, trying not to laugh,
\nWe left her to deal with the horrible aftermath
\nAlone, our last moments were spent enjoying the peace,
\nEating hotdogs and sandwiches and tasty roast beef.<\/p>\n
Arthur “Lemon” Lemonson<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There are girls who on hills And girls who live in towns I was smart enough to find the one to drag me down. I brought her some cake, said it was too sweet. I bought her a house, it was on the wrong street. I brought her some drugs, they were the wrong kind, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bedtime-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1075"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1075\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1076,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1075\/revisions\/1076"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}