I have obtained a reputation of sorts, a name amongst my kin,
\nFor smashing faces, breaking chairs and gouging gallons\u00a0of gin.
\nEveryone was shocked at first due to the severity of my condition
\nBut none could fault my ballsiness, nor pick at my ambition.
\nThe taste was pleasant and rich, a tapestry of flavours
\nThat challenged my ability to walk and pissed of all the neighbours,
\nEspecially when they caught me urinating on their flowers in-between receiving sexual favours.<\/p>\n
They look at me though as a pioneer, a pilgrim in the rushes,
\nWould they themselves spend an hour furiously vomiting in the bushes?
\nNo, not they. Too clean for them. I’d figure that they’d rather
\nEntertain a spot of family then play bridge with mumsie and father.
\nI was told I’d went too far one night, waking in a pool of grime
\nWith\u00a0a donkey, a goose, three pipes, one wrench, an onion\u00a0and a lime.
\nInstead of taking to the baths I did a little skip,
\nDowned another shot of gin then skidded on my sick.
\nI don’t think I’ll ever stop though. I’ve grown accustomed to this way,
\nIt’s only others who believe it’s full of anguish and dismay.<\/p>\n
Many scream and shout at me, many do implore,
\n“I thought you weren’t going mad but now I’m not so sure.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have obtained a reputation of sorts, a name amongst my kin, For smashing faces, breaking chairs and gouging gallons\u00a0of gin. Everyone was shocked at first due to the severity of my condition But none could fault my ballsiness, nor pick at my ambition. The taste was pleasant and rich, a tapestry of flavours That […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-god-damn-poetry","category-ian"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1106"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1106\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1107,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1106\/revisions\/1107"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}