I think it’s only fair to let everyone know, and when I say everyone currently I just mean Kev, that I am not the original Ian McIver. I am in fact a sequel to myself, a sequel to the original McIver who came before me, but who also was me. It gets even more complicated when I say that the original McIver wasn’t a human but he was in fact a radiator.<\/p>\n
When I was first “born” I was created in a factory because I was a radiator. For the first thirteen years of my life I was installed in a strip club in one of the nicer areas of London where beautiful semi-naked women would rest their booties on me to keep them warm during the winter months. It was agony during the spring and the summer unless a particularly nasty cold spell meant they needed my assistance. Unfortunately this was not to last.<\/p>\n
For the next thirteen years of my life, when the strip club was closed down on indecency chrges, I was placed in an old people’s home in Coventry. It can only be described as the biggest test of anyone’s patience imaginable. The horrors that took place there I will never speak of again (until someone pays me to write my memoirs). Want a sample? Two words: wrinkly bottoms.<\/p>\n
It was then that I was signed up for another thirteen year stretch in another part of the world. I would have done anything to get out of there. It became apparent though that in my desperation to escape I did not check the fine print on the piece of paper. I have signed up to radiate the sea underwater; unfortunately the thirteen years didn’t pan out quite as successfully though as I suffocated after 98 seconds.<\/p>\n
Look how I turned out though!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I think it’s only fair to let everyone know, and when I say everyone currently I just mean Kev, that I am not the original Ian McIver. I am in fact a sequel to myself, a sequel to the original McIver who came before me, but who also was me. It gets even more complicated […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ian"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1130"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1130\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1132,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1130\/revisions\/1132"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}