There was crisis across the country last night and this morning as it was discovered that the CHAPS process, that’s Clearing House Automated Payment System to you, me and Mrs MaGinty, broke down after an undisclosed billionaire tried to transfer all of his fortune into a Halifax Instant Savers account.<\/p>\n
The account, which does not allow more than \u00a33,000.00 overall, was flattened, squished and destroyed as an army of coins and notes chose to enter into open conflict. This occured at 4.45pm GMT yesterday afternoon. Immediately the problem spread to the rest of the banking system as phone operators at emergency services were inundated by call after call from nervous tellers and staff warning that all the money was spilling into the street. To make matters worse, in what can only be described as utterly bizarre, not only did the CHAPS collapse but the chaps collapsed.<\/p>\n
Reports are coming in from various Southern states of the US that cowboys were dropping their trousers at an alarming rate shortly after 5pm. It was only when Florence Feedbank, a beautiful scientist from Bath, put two and two together that everyone else in the world went, “ahhhh!” and went back to whatever they were doing.<\/p>\n
At the time of press we believe the CHAPS and chaps are all back to normal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There was crisis across the country last night and this morning as it was discovered that the CHAPS process, that’s Clearing House Automated Payment System to you, me and Mrs MaGinty, broke down after an undisclosed billionaire tried to transfer all of his fortune into a Halifax Instant Savers account. The account, which does not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1178","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-loins"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1178","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1178"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1178\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1179,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1178\/revisions\/1179"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1178"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1178"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1178"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}