I wake up as a member of Parliament or at least a Politician, because I’m lying in bed fully dressed in a suit with people shouting at me. When I eventually get up to go downstairs I realise there’s something in my hand and when I look it’s the budget for the UK only it’s not in a nice, posh red case it’s some horrible plastic wallet with a reusable zipper at the top. Even this makes me cringe.<\/p>\n
Outside there are hundreds of other people in suits, presumably other politicians, cramming into cars. They’re all going somewhere and I’m obliged to follow, but I make up an excuse that I have to go to Jack Fultons before I can attend wherever they’re going. Really my mind keeps wandering back to a beautiful woman I came across the night before and I’m convinced I’ll find her in Fulton. So, leaving them to drive off, I walk down main street and into the shop. It’s closing down and the woman is not there but I do find a fellow politician cooing over some Jaffa-Fakes for 99p. I tell him to get his act together. It’s then I decide I don’t want to carry the budget anymore so I hide it behind one of the checkouts. Satisfied with my work we walk out beaming, convinced it is in a safe place, and then I cack my pants when I notice there is a cleaner still in Fultons and that she could steal my magical document.<\/p>\n
It’s too late for that though. The beautiful woman is nowhere to be seen, I could have lost a very important document and unwillingly I am bundled off in a 4 x 4 to some unknown destination.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I wake up as a member of Parliament or at least a Politician, because I’m lying in bed fully dressed in a suit with people shouting at me. When I eventually get up to go downstairs I realise there’s something in my hand and when I look it’s the budget for the UK only it’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1200","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bedtime-stories","category-ian"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1200","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1200"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1200\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1201,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1200\/revisions\/1201"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}