{"id":128,"date":"2006-06-22T08:56:52","date_gmt":"2006-06-22T07:56:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pouringbeans.com\/?p=128"},"modified":"2006-06-22T08:56:52","modified_gmt":"2006-06-22T07:56:52","slug":"l-o-i-n-s-the-new-reverse-charge-call-phone-service","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/?p=128","title":{"rendered":"L O I N S &#8211; the new reverse charge call phone service"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Cheesy Kid: Help I&#8217;m stuck in the middle of nowhere and I have to call my lesbian mummy to come and pick me up. Those ruffians over there look vicious<\/p>\n<p>*Vicious ruffians tense their fists and look mean*<\/p>\n<p>Voiceover: Hey you kid, didn&#8217;t you know you don&#8217;t have to have money to make a phonecall?<br \/>\nCheesy Kid: Isn&#8217;t that called stealing?<br \/>\nVoiceover: Don&#8217;t be silly Timmy, it&#8217;s the new reverse charge call phone service. LOINS!<br \/>\nCheesy Kid: Loins?<br \/>\nVoiceover: Yes Loins. Simply dial the word Loins in the phone and&#8230;<br \/>\nCheesy Kid: But there&#8217;s only numbers on these buttons. There are no letters.<br \/>\nVoiceover: Then find a phone with letters on it.<br \/>\nCheesy Kid: This is the only phone for five miles. I checked on my GPS.<br \/>\nVoiceover: Then you&#8217;ll have to ask one of those vicious ruffians for their mobile.<br \/>\nCheesy Kid: I could have told you that myself. Would you ask them for help, at night, being all vulnerable and alone like I am?<br \/>\nVoiceover: Well no.<br \/>\nCheesy Kid: Exactly so really I&#8217;m screwed aren&#8217;t I?<br \/>\nVoiceover: Look, ABC are on button number 1, DEF are on&#8230;<br \/>\nCheesy Kid: I don&#8217;t have time for your words and your headless bodyless nonsense I&#8217;ve gotta get out of this flying umbrella!<\/p>\n<p>*Vicious ruffians start coming towards him*<\/p>\n<p>Voiceover: Start praying Timmy, start praying!<br \/>\nCheesy Kid: Must remember loins, must remember loins, must remember&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>*Timmy gets creamed by the ruffians who steal his hat and use his shorts as a lunchbox*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cheesy Kid: Help I&#8217;m stuck in the middle of nowhere and I have to call my lesbian mummy to come and pick me up. Those ruffians over there look vicious *Vicious ruffians tense their fists and look mean* Voiceover: Hey you kid, didn&#8217;t you know you don&#8217;t have to have money to make a phonecall? [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ian"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=128"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/128\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}