{"id":489,"date":"2007-12-28T09:01:16","date_gmt":"2007-12-28T09:01:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pouringbeans.com\/?p=489"},"modified":"2007-12-28T09:02:20","modified_gmt":"2007-12-28T09:02:20","slug":"mr-smudgey-exposes-himself-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/?p=489","title":{"rendered":"Mr Smudgey Exposes Himself"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hello, it is I, once again, sat on my loins in anticipation, waiting to tell the world once again how I am the most famous man on this planet at this very point in time. People ask me all the time if I ever get tired of being famous and to those people I say, “I don’t pay you to talk love I pay you to…” erm, fix my shower. Yes. That sounds like a good cover. Let’s take another walk down Smudgedy Lane (like Memory Lane but smudgified) and bask in my celebritism.<\/p>\n

Point Number Three<\/u><\/strong>\u00c2\u00a0– being just out of show from Rembrandt’s famous painting ‘The Night Watch’.<\/p>\n

\u00c2\u00a0\"night_watch.jpg\"<\/p>\n

I was having a shave in Doncy McGlagin’s Hair Emporium when the lads started shouting for us to come outside. I thought they were just gonna pour rancid tomatoes over my head like they did last year. It turns\u00c2\u00a0out there was some painter guy who happened to be passing and decided to do a picture. Clearly because I’m the most famous they wanted me in it but the temptation of having a huge knife removing tiny hairs from my face was too much and I had to pass. You can see Mick and John on the left pointing at me as they can just about make out my silouette in one of the nearby streetlamps. Colin at the front is trying to make the point that they should wait for me however nobody is listening. You can also just about make out Crumbalina who’s hiding behind Mick in the red on the left as she’s remembered she hasn’t paid back the three shillings I leant her to buy her house.<\/p>\n

And I never got it back. You try and buy a house with that now I tell you. That makes a total of three now. I’ll be catching, taming and ramping that dragon of success before you can tell me that I’m ramping a dragon and I shouldn’t be because they have short tempers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hello, it is I, once again, sat on my loins in anticipation, waiting to tell the world once again how I am the most famous man on this planet at this very point in time. People ask me all the time if I ever get tired of being famous and to those people I say, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mr-smudgey"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=489"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/489\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}