{"id":550,"date":"2008-07-16T22:14:08","date_gmt":"2008-07-16T21:14:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pouringbeans.com\/?p=550"},"modified":"2008-07-16T22:14:08","modified_gmt":"2008-07-16T21:14:08","slug":"demands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/?p=550","title":{"rendered":"Demands"},"content":{"rendered":"

Shut up. I’m in charge here and I demand the following. Pay some fucking attention.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Cash<\/li>\n
  2. Big car<\/li>\n
  3. Holiday somewhere sunny<\/li>\n
  4. Right smart lass<\/li>\n
  5. The results of Kev’s picture competition<\/li>\n
  6. A field of cows and someone to deal with them<\/li>\n
  7. A helicopter<\/li>\n
  8. A battenberg cake<\/li>\n
  9. A less battered-looking box for my Father Ted box set<\/li>\n
  10. Less fraying on the strap of my bag<\/li>\n
  11. Somewhere to keep my nice pen<\/li>\n
  12. Ready salted crisps in the cupboard instead of salt and vinegar<\/li>\n
  13. Some ham<\/li>\n
  14. A working magic 8-ball<\/li>\n
  15. An extra four to six hours each day<\/li>\n
  16. An end to hob nobs<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The deadline for my demands is midnight on Tuesday. If any of the above requests are not met with complete and total compliance I will be forced to take action, possibly by aching tactfully.<\/p>\n

    Now jump to it!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Shut up. I’m in charge here and I demand the following. Pay some fucking attention. Cash Big car Holiday somewhere sunny Right smart lass The results of Kev’s picture competition A field of cows and someone to deal with them A helicopter A battenberg cake A less battered-looking box for my Father Ted box set […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,8,40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-550","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chris","category-rants","category-shut-up"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/550","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=550"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/550\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=550"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=550"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=550"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}