{"id":629,"date":"2009-05-18T08:58:48","date_gmt":"2009-05-18T07:58:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pouringbeans.com\/?p=629"},"modified":"2009-05-18T08:58:48","modified_gmt":"2009-05-18T07:58:48","slug":"chagrin-attack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/?p=629","title":{"rendered":"Chagrin Attack!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Whilst having my shoes buffed at the local buffery yesterday I noticed a rucus occuring across the street. I paid Gepetto, the friendly Northerner, his usual fee of two carneys and went over to investigate. Before I got the chance to lodge an interest I was attacked by three chagrins. They were bad, Gabby Hayes bad. The leader had two eyepatches and a mohawk which he used to tickle underneath my chin. The other two danced a disturbing dance of pain before nutting me in the Welcomes.<\/p>\n<p>Thankfully a rival gang of Chagrins, the Chirpies, were teaching some limpets how to draw circles nearby and came to my rescue. Sometimes I wonder if they are both a curse and a gift, then I remember how much the Chagrin has given to the modern world and I immediately weep openly like a bitch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Whilst having my shoes buffed at the local buffery yesterday I noticed a rucus occuring across the street. I paid Gepetto, the friendly Northerner, his usual fee of two carneys and went over to investigate. Before I got the chance to lodge an interest I was attacked by three chagrins. They were bad, Gabby Hayes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,14,24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-629","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bedtime-stories","category-god-damn-poetry","category-great"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/629","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=629"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/629\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=629"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=629"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=629"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}