This should have come sooner, but it didn’t. Technically it counts as two given that this is a blatant attack on both the spawn of Billy Ray Cyrus and the piece of sh*t show she stars in. For all those SBM purists out there I do apologise but it had to be done.<\/p>\n
Where do we start? Hannah Montana shouldn’t exist. It does and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. Since appearing it has been capitvating naive little children for the last three years, sort of like High School Musical. I tried researching the show on Wikipedia to add fury to my flames and there’s nothing there. There’s no description of what actually happens, what the whole point of the show is. It merely talks about production, awards and how many series novelisations have been written. Put a little time aside to read the episode summary though, especially the episode where Hannah Montana entertains the Queen of Britain and her grandaughter. I can almost hear the rubbish English accents\u00a0grating through the\u00a0wind…<\/p>\n
Ever heard ‘Achey Breaky Heart’ by Billy Ray Cyrus? It was because of him that line dancing took off, or so modern history books lead you to believe. From this came the child of Cyrus. If only Bill Hicks were here he’d know what to do. Aside from the whole pulling a face to insult the entire Chinese community of the world, aside from her baffling comments about same sex marriage, her music is a pile of f*cktards. Here’s some lovely lyrics from ‘Hoedown’ that you can all sing along to:<\/p>\n
“Pop it, lock it, polka dot it, country-fy it, then hip hop it.
\nPut your hawk in the sky, move side to side, jump to the left, stick it glide.”<\/p>\n
Put your hawk in the sky? Stick it glide? Clearly she’s never read a dictionary nor knows much about the English language. And people were sh*tting themselves about playing heavy metal records backwards in the 80’s. Backwards or forwards these lyrics don’t make sense at all. If I heard my son singing this I’d think he was having a fit.<\/p>\n
Think about it kids; do you want to be represented by someone who has to dress up to gain popularity? As far as I can see the show seems to promote deception, lying and awful, awful music. There’s only one way forward. Kill her off and re-invent her as a cyborg from the future with a bandana and some Kraftwork covers. Hannah Bandana. Get it?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This should have come sooner, but it didn’t. Technically it counts as two given that this is a blatant attack on both the spawn of Billy Ray Cyrus and the piece of sh*t show she stars in. For all those SBM purists out there I do apologise but it had to be done.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-689","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-silly-bint-of-the-month"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/689","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=689"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/689\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":691,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/689\/revisions\/691"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=689"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=689"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=689"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}