{"id":944,"date":"2010-05-26T07:58:44","date_gmt":"2010-05-26T07:58:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pouringbeans.com\/?p=944"},"modified":"2010-05-26T07:58:44","modified_gmt":"2010-05-26T07:58:44","slug":"fumblegin-the-mystery-gnome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/?p=944","title":{"rendered":"Fumblegin &#8211; The Mystery Gnome"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Those have heard, down our way<br \/>\nOf a certain story that does tell<br \/>\nOf a certain character, small and thin<br \/>\nThat reeks of compost, farts and gin<br \/>\nEyes of wonder, teeth that grin<br \/>\nThat be him, that Fumblegin<\/p>\n<p>For a long time animals went missing<br \/>\nAfter dark, when the owls did hoot<br \/>\nAt first it was believed to be\u00a0 fancy cats (oooo!)<br \/>\nOr hustling mice or\u00a0chunky rats<br \/>\nExcept that none of these exist<br \/>\nSo to avoid humiliation, they took a risk<br \/>\nSet a trap and what did they catch?<br \/>\nNot a cat or a rat or a Bandersnatch<br \/>\nBut a wee small man with a tache so trim<br \/>\nThat was him, that Fumblegin<\/p>\n<p>Despite trying for at least a day<br \/>\nHe managed to escape just after lunch<br \/>\nNot that he really did much to disguise<br \/>\nWhere he lived, you just followed the pies<br \/>\nDown the street and around the bend<br \/>\nRight to the very end<br \/>\nThere he sits, belly on top<br \/>\nStinking like a rancid mop<br \/>\nIt&#8217;d take three lifetimes to recount his sin<br \/>\nYou know him, that&#8217;s Fumblegin<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Those have heard, down our way Of a certain story that does tell Of a certain character, small and thin That reeks of compost, farts and gin Eyes of wonder, teeth that grin That be him, that Fumblegin For a long time animals went missing After dark, when the owls did hoot At first it [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,14,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-944","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bedtime-stories","category-god-damn-poetry","category-ian"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/944","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=944"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/944\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":946,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/944\/revisions\/946"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=944"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=944"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pouringbeans.com\/archive\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=944"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}