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The other day I was driving home from my nightshift and found myself sitting in traffic waiting for the lights to change. In my rear view mirror was a tipper truck from a company called Space Rubbish who do commercial rubbish clearance. Their logo caught my eye. It looks like this.

Obviously the Comic Sans lettering is eye-catching enough as it is, but the colourful logo on the left is what I found myself staring at. I knew that from somewhere. I’m pretty sure it was clipart that I’d used to make my own logos back when I first got a PC. I think – but after extensive internet searching and AI asking, I still can’t be entirely sure – that it came with Microsoft Publisher ’97. It looked a bit like this. (I had to draw it myself because I can’t find the original.)

I was just smiling to myself at the idea that this company had made their own logo in Publisher 97 using clipart and Comic Sans, and that they were still using it now, with versions of it plastered over all their lorries nearly 30 years later, when the traffic going the other way came to a stop and just to my right was a van owned by a company called Pride Installations Limited. Apparently they do electrical work and refurbish houses for landlords, that kind of thing. Anyway, the logo on the side of their van looked like this.

I don’t know if the drivers of the two vans saw each others’ logos, but I hope they did. Now I wonder how many more companies are using the same 1990s clipart as their corporate logo. I hope there’s loads of them.

Avatar It’s back

They moved the sign indoors before I could photograph it, but don’t worry, I got proof.

The rumours are true. It’s back.

Finally, after all this time, the Richoux Cruffin is back. You’ve been waiting a long time, I know you have. It’s been agony. We’ve all felt it. We have all felt the hollow feeling inside since the Richoux Cruffin left us.

You’ve been bereft without it. You’ve tried to satisfy yourself with other Cruffins – but all of them were inferior. Nothing was ever quite like a Richoux Cruffin. And on the rare occasions you managed to get some other Richoux products, none of them ever had that quintessential Cruffinniness.

You might wonder where the Richoux Cruffin went. Where did it go, and why did it have to leave us for so long? But that’s private. The Richoux Cruffin does not answer to you. It departs on a whim and it comes back when it’s ready. The only thing to do is be grateful that it has finally returned.

You have been dreaming of this moment for such a long time. So, go. Go now and get yourself the Richoux Cruffin. It’s back, and now you and the Richoux Cruffin can be together forever.

Avatar Culture in the workplace: update

If you’ve been following The Beans for some time, you will know about my repeated attempts to bring a little culture into my otherwise blandly decorated place of work: 1, 2, 3, 4. The last of these, posted in February this year, saw me change tack to present a picture of the frame itself in the hope this would evade the attention of the joy police.

The bad news is that it did not. This latest picture has already gone, lasting only about six months, which makes it the shortest-lived of all the artworks so far displayed. But that’s OK, because while I was away, one of my colleagues has again come to the rescue. They have executed an absolute masterstroke.

Please allow me to present the picture that now adorns the frame in the men’s bathroom.

I would go as far as to say that this is more or less perfect.

Avatar Airport review: Addis Ababa

I can now add “Ethiopia” to my list of “places I have technically been to because I transferred flights there”. This list also includes Latvia, Colombia and the United States of America. We had two transfers in Addis Ababa, so we got to experience Bole International Airport twice. And you, lucky reader, can vicariously enjoy the experience through my review.

Read More: Airport review: Addis Ababa »

Avatar Q & A with one of the Happy Salad Boys (again)

You’re not seeing things.

We’ve managed to track down another one of those boys to find out what’s going on in his perennial noggin, what’s perplexing his grey matter. Let’s have a sit down and a chat with Drake Fondles!

Name: Drake Fondles

Age: Old enough

What type of boy band member are you: I’m the talent, the songwriter, the visionary, the artist. I write the words to all the songs then hand them to someone else to rewrite and fix to someone else’s music

How many curls: enough to fill a wheelbarrow

I most look like: a dainty flower fixed upon a mountain hilltop in the flurriest of weather but also on a summer’s day

Best celebrity chicken: Florence Chuckles

Chaffinch – controversial?: I’d rather you didn’t bring it up

Pour me a mug of: delicious melodies sprinkled with stardust

Fuzziest television: Uncle Tupperware’s

How “me” are you: I am more you than you ever were, and I can guarantee that. In fact, I’m going to write a song about it right now

Finish this phrase, “Shoulder shrug…”: emotionless mug

Avatar Phrase phase competition – September

Back once again with the renegade master. The renegade master being me. I am your renegade master.

Can we keep unearthing the gold? Can we unopen the vestibule and then reopen it again for clarity? Can we stretch WORDS any further than we already have?

Let’s find out:

  • Joke meister general, here; time to josh up your regions! – possibly includes a few too many dated references to pass for modern audiences
  • I want you to know I am flush outta sunshine – a sincere confession from the heart, you’re really not feeling it today
  • Trees’ll cockle ye snatch, sonny – nobody actually knows what it means and that adds to the mystery if you ask me
  • If I were you, I wouldn’t wanna know you – a classic from the archive, ready for its time again in the glorious sunshine. A savage put down
  • When I left you at the party line, I noticed your clingfilm – great opening line to a catchy pop song, possibly sung by Sabrina Carpenter or one of those other ones

Exhilarating in every sense of the word.

October is going to have to pull a blinder in order to beat some of those. Could the chilly season dig up even better ideas? We shall see.