Avatar It’s back

They moved the sign indoors before I could photograph it, but don’t worry, I got proof.

The rumours are true. It’s back.

Finally, after all this time, the Richoux Cruffin is back. You’ve been waiting a long time, I know you have. It’s been agony. We’ve all felt it. We have all felt the hollow feeling inside since the Richoux Cruffin left us.

You’ve been bereft without it. You’ve tried to satisfy yourself with other Cruffins – but all of them were inferior. Nothing was ever quite like a Richoux Cruffin. And on the rare occasions you managed to get some other Richoux products, none of them ever had that quintessential Cruffinniness.

You might wonder where the Richoux Cruffin went. Where did it go, and why did it have to leave us for so long? But that’s private. The Richoux Cruffin does not answer to you. It departs on a whim and it comes back when it’s ready. The only thing to do is be grateful that it has finally returned.

You have been dreaming of this moment for such a long time. So, go. Go now and get yourself the Richoux Cruffin. It’s back, and now you and the Richoux Cruffin can be together forever.

Avatar Culture in the workplace: update

If you’ve been following The Beans for some time, you will know about my repeated attempts to bring a little culture into my otherwise blandly decorated place of work: 1, 2, 3, 4. The last of these, posted in February this year, saw me change tack to present a picture of the frame itself in the hope this would evade the attention of the joy police.

The bad news is that it did not. This latest picture has already gone, lasting only about six months, which makes it the shortest-lived of all the artworks so far displayed. But that’s OK, because while I was away, one of my colleagues has again come to the rescue. They have executed an absolute masterstroke.

Please allow me to present the picture that now adorns the frame in the men’s bathroom.

I would go as far as to say that this is more or less perfect.

Avatar Airport review: Addis Ababa

I can now add “Ethiopia” to my list of “places I have technically been to because I transferred flights there”. This list also includes Latvia, Colombia and the United States of America. We had two transfers in Addis Ababa, so we got to experience Bole International Airport twice. And you, lucky reader, can vicariously enjoy the experience through my review.

Read More: Airport review: Addis Ababa »

Avatar Q & A with one of the Happy Salad Boys (again)

You’re not seeing things.

We’ve managed to track down another one of those boys to find out what’s going on in his perennial noggin, what’s perplexing his grey matter. Let’s have a sit down and a chat with Drake Fondles!

Name: Drake Fondles

Age: Old enough

What type of boy band member are you: I’m the talent, the songwriter, the visionary, the artist. I write the words to all the songs then hand them to someone else to rewrite and fix to someone else’s music

How many curls: enough to fill a wheelbarrow

I most look like: a dainty flower fixed upon a mountain hilltop in the flurriest of weather but also on a summer’s day

Best celebrity chicken: Florence Chuckles

Chaffinch – controversial?: I’d rather you didn’t bring it up

Pour me a mug of: delicious melodies sprinkled with stardust

Fuzziest television: Uncle Tupperware’s

How “me” are you: I am more you than you ever were, and I can guarantee that. In fact, I’m going to write a song about it right now

Finish this phrase, “Shoulder shrug…”: emotionless mug

Avatar Phrase phase competition – September

Back once again with the renegade master. The renegade master being me. I am your renegade master.

Can we keep unearthing the gold? Can we unopen the vestibule and then reopen it again for clarity? Can we stretch WORDS any further than we already have?

Let’s find out:

  • Joke meister general, here; time to josh up your regions! – possibly includes a few too many dated references to pass for modern audiences
  • I want you to know I am flush outta sunshine – a sincere confession from the heart, you’re really not feeling it today
  • Trees’ll cockle ye snatch, sonny – nobody actually knows what it means and that adds to the mystery if you ask me
  • If I were you, I wouldn’t wanna know you – a classic from the archive, ready for its time again in the glorious sunshine. A savage put down
  • When I left you at the party line, I noticed your clingfilm – great opening line to a catchy pop song, possibly sung by Sabrina Carpenter or one of those other ones

Exhilarating in every sense of the word.

October is going to have to pull a blinder in order to beat some of those. Could the chilly season dig up even better ideas? We shall see.

Avatar Q & A with one of the Happy Salad Boys

That’s right.

We’ve managed to secure another exclusive and this time it’s a questions mit answers with one of the Happy Salad Boys; Chester Kneesup!

Name: Chester Kneesup

Age: Wa-hey, look at me

What type of boy band member are you: I’m the funny one, the cheeky scamp who gets away with anything

Favourite rocks: the ones you find by the sea

I look most like: a right old stack of Brazil nuts

Best outfit: my Robin Hood bomber jacket and tweed socks

Pour me a mug of: hot gravel, please

Slippers or mandibles: definitely mandibles because I think they’re rather fetching, whereas slippers are old like dad’s ham

How many ghandis are too many: any number over tooty

Favourite ice cubes: the ones from tim’s house, they’re delightfully pleasant

Finish this phrase, “roll me an onion…”: before the headmaster catches the figs!