Yes that’s right… you heard it here first… Mr Smith is back!
After a brief hiatus of only 7 years, Mr Smith returns in his latest tale of woe, murder and partying, “Mr Smith and the Cactus”.
Read it HERE now.
Category: Delicious
Things on my Desk: Unloved Sauces
Today I looked round my desk and was faced with a sight that is all too common in modern Britain.
The grim truth is that we all take too many sachets of sauce from the cafe or canteen, we just do. Whether its some sort of instinctive nesting impulse or just the fact that we can get something for free so we do. The untold story though is what happens to all of these unwanted sauces once they are taken from the relative comfort of the canteen stainless steel container. Do they ever make their way home? No, for once they have been removed they somehow become dirty. Nobody has opened them, nobody has licked them, but they can never go back, they are alone. Destined to see out their expiry dates in the back of an office drawer, or become a ticking time bomb in the pocket of someone who never checks their pockets before doing the washing.
Spare a thought for the unloved sauces.
The Fist of Justice
It was a nice evening. Everyone was there, everyone was having a nice time. Some of them had even managed to get hold of a drink and were feeling a little merry. Around the table tiny foods were consumed and the party spirit was rampant.
Suddenly the picture changed. Swinging through the air and landing on the table was the Evil Minion. His pallid, sickly yellow skin and greasy, limp hair were a sickening sight. Some of those with weaker stomachs had to turn away. He had landed squarely in front of the Partymaster, the Birthday Boy himself, and was presenting his foul dungarees as an unwashed challenge to us all. In front of him, on the table, was what looked like a small brown cake, but we knew it was really an explosive device, set to blow the whole deal sky high.
Mr Chang, the brave party thrower, was quick with his Samurai breadknife, beheading the Evil Minion in one smooth movement. He didn’t stand a chance to detonate his destructive delicacy. The show was over. A second blow bisected what remained of his torso, spilling hideous guts everywhere.
The emergency services arrived to cordon off the scene and the party dispersed into the Leeds night, some being rushed to hospital for trauma, and others the walking wounded, safe tonight but consigned to a lifetime of therapy to help them through their harrowing ordeal. As I got up to leave the scene, I dealt a blow for all that was good in the world and all that was right. My strong fist of justice obliterated what was left of the Minion’s grisly remains. I fisted that Minion good.
For as long as there are good people like me in the world, evil will not prevail.
Mr Chang’s Tasty Wares
If you go to one of the Thai restaurants in Crystal Palace (we’ve got loads of them) you will find them picking up on Kev’s latest business venture, which is brewing a fine, light and refreshing beer with his name on it.
Mr Chang’s is clearly a popular choice with customers here and we wish him the best of luck in this new endeavour.