Month: November 2014

Avatar From Newcastle to Leeds (and back again)

Now I know that everyone loves it when I put up posts about pointless things that I bought and there hasn’t been one for a while so no doubt people are salivating at the prospect of one for November or December. The truth is though that I haven’t had much spare cash to fling about in the face of sensibleness. I almost did on a relatively expensive thing but changed my mind at the last minute. So how about something a little different?

Last Monday I undertook an epic quest (?) to Leeds Brudenell Social Club in order to see two brilliant Canadian bands called P.S. I Love You and The Rural Alberta Advantage. There are several points to consider though:

1. I don’t live in Leeds anymore
2. I don’t drive yet
3. I needed to be at work the next morning

With this in mind it all seemed a little crazy, and it was. I board my train from Newcastle just after 6pm. It went straight through to Leeds with no detours, which was good, but the whole journey takes about 90 minutes and I’ve never been to the Brudenell before so I have to take a taxi. I caught one and arrived around 8pm and as the doors only opened at 7:30pm I hadn’t missed anything. Great. I take a seat and read the schedule; first band on at 8.20pm and second band on at 9:20pm.

I have to catch a taxi back to the station at 9:50pm in order to catch my train at 10:10pm. This means I will catch about half of the second band’s set which isn’t too bad.

But then disaster. P.S. I Love You don’t clamber onto stage until 8.35pm. Whilst they perform a blistering 30 minute set to an almost empty room I enjoy every minute of it. At first I sit towards the back so I can take in the whole stage. It is only ten minutes in that a group of people then choose to stand right in front of me, despite most of the room being empty, to watch the band. One woman even turns around, looks me dead in the eye and then carries on standing right in the way. I choose to move forward and sit on the steps closer to the stage. Another man then blocks my view about twenty minutes in however he is the sound guy and must be checking the levels. He’s clearly upset as he returns several times to check. All I can hear is ear-shattering rock n roll music however I do not work in the music biz and my ear drums were destroyed at least two decades ago from listening to Dr Hook and the Medicine Group way too high.

So this delay then sets a chain reaction off. P.S. I Love You leave the stage but the second band don’t get back on until around 9.36pm (I’m being precise for a reason). I get to see around twelve minutes of the Rural Alberta Advantage before I get the call back from the taxi firm and have to head off. I leave just as Amy Cole is explaining that she visited a honey farm during the day and spent about fifty quid on honey products (bless).

The expense doesn’t end there though. My train back to Newcastle does not arrive until midnight, by which time the Metros have stopped running so I am forced to get another taxi home. What do the numbers look like? Let’s run them through down here:

Gig Ticket – £12.00
Train ticket to Leeds – £14.00
Food for the train – £3.00
Taxi to Brudenell – £6.00 (I gave a respectable tip)
Gig Merch – £10.00 (P.S. I Love You were kind enough to sign them too)
Taxi to Leeds Station – £6.00 (another tip)
Coffee at McDonalds – £1.50
Train ticket to Newcastle – £14.00
Taxi Home – £12.00 (such a generous tipper)

Total – £78.50

I spent a full £78.50 for less than fifty minutes of music. I think that makes me dedicated and much better than everyone else and I knew that before I even started writing this post.

Avatar What? Eh? What?

What the hell is this?

BoyZoneDublinToDetroit
Just… can someone give me a hand here? I can see something, there’s definitely something there right in front of my eyes, because my eyes register that there is something on the screen. But what is it?

I think it’s a picture of some description. There are some people on it but none of them are really looking at each other.

My brain cannot process it. To me it resembles a really poor attempt at trying to cobble together an idea for an album. It’s as if some people decided to release an album but couldn’t be bothered writing any songs so they just stole a bunch from other, more successful, more talented artists.

Can anyone help?

Avatar The James D. Titan Birthday Primordial Night Out – 2014 Edition

Some nights need to be undertaken twice to re-live the tang. Some nights, however, happen once and you’re glad that they never happen again. Some nights just happen and they’re over before you expect it.

I could do this all day.

Some nights leave a warm glass of milk next to your bed and force you to drink it in your sleep. Some nights see you dressing in the bathroom and watch the whole thing.

In any case, it was our misfortune to suffer yet another birthday night out. My birthday night out to be precise. I was there and I can tell you immediately and without hesitation that it was tip-top. It was top notch. Here’s a smattering of reasons why:

1. Smidge Manly decides to release ‘Double Bugger: 35 essential 80’s songs’ to celebrate that he hasn’t been around for a while and we miss his world-weary, dulcet tones. A white label demo is expected by early 2015. Whether or not his Manly Choir decide to provide BV’s is still undecided.

2. Hot off the invention press is the Diver’s Mitt. What this remarkable piece of equipment does is ensure that, when you’re diving, you don’t become too good at diving. You don’t want to show up the other divers and this essential webbed glove will ensure this never takes place.

3. Kevin may have to take Taylor Swift aside to discuss the Diver’s Mitt in more private and intimate surroundings…

4. The world of art theft is a tricky one, and one which cannot be rushed. If you decide to join the world of art theft you must ensure that not only are you very very good at stealing art but also that you can muster the correct arm and hand movements. There’s no point deciding to steal art if your wrists are weak and your arms are bloated.

5. Sometimes Kevin looks like Richard E. Grant in his grey coat. He’s also very good at doing Liam Neeson’s speech from ‘Taken’ as Kermit the Frog.

6. What Reader’s Digest did to books is unforgivable.

Afterwards it was officially decided that I am now 30 + 1 and that handing someone the ass of a rat is a big deal and should not be taken lightly.

Avatar Fromage Homage

It’s around this time of the year that everyone looks to the future. There is a lot of talk about Christmas and the inevitable run up and everything involved. Let us not forget the things though that are constant. These things that are around us on a regular basis that refuse to give up when times are hard. I am, of course, talking about cheese.

blog.fairwaymarket.com-CheeseAssortment

When was the last time you gave a hearty shout out to the marvel of cheese?

When did you last go a bit glossy-eyed about a bit of Brie or a slice of Red Leicester?

There are some members of this website that regularly draw themselves as a large clump of cheese that wanders around London in a top hat. That I confess I have never done, yet I feel a strong affinity with cheese. It hides in my sandwich and tickles my fancy. It stares at me longingly from the shelves, urging me to purchase it.

There have been times when in my darkest moments I have not acknowledged it in the way that it deserves and I am looking to rectify that in any way I can. So here it is, my little flag-waving entry in the long history of the Beans to pull up a chair and put my arm around that most helpful and comforting of fellows. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you cheese.

(Addendum: this post was created in conjunction with the fact that homage rhymes with the French word for ‘cheese’).