You know what you need to be careful with? Ian. You need to be careful with Ian.
You need to be careful because he’ll take something silly you say and he’ll see it through right the way to the end. Like – just for example – if you make a joke about wanting a bucket of Tunnock’s Teacakes for Christmas.
Like I say, be careful. Very careful. Otherwise the results could be devastating.
19 comments on “A lesson learned”
This is the best present you ever received and we all know it. Apart from the garish “packaging” it came in (the bin bag, not the bucket, it’s a special bucket), it’s as sweet and special as anything Santa Cause ever brought you.
I like the sound of Santa Cause. It sounds like he shuffles down your chimney once a year to deliver logical consequences to your actions.
“You sir, you kicked a pig in the face in January of this year. I am afraid that not only do you get no Christmas presents but also I am taking your PS4 and flat screen TV to give to the pig’s family as recompense.”
He would issue swift justice would Santa Cause.
Damn right. And he’d always have a reason. Always.
He’s a lot more responsible then Santa Coors, who seems to spend most of his year drinking low-alcohol light refreshments at the top of mountains.
Stupid Santa Coors. Next year I’m writing to Santa Doors instead.
I hear he’s very good at seizing opportunities?
He is. To change the subject, would you like a Tunnock’s Teacake?
I would hate to deprive you of the joy of Teacakes, so I will politely refuse one.
But… now you’re depriving yourself of the joy of Teacakes! I will politely insist you have one.
Are you going to send me one in the post with a set of spoons?
I might. That’s a very good idea.
Hit me with your biggest tea cake spoon package of 2020. Right now. Or you could bring it with you in Ma-arch!
It’ll definitely happen. Either right now, as you say, or in March, as you also suggest, or the other option is never. It’ll definitely happen at one of those times.
Wow, that’s a broad scope. Look at how broad that scope is. It’s the broadiest, scope-iest post of 2020 so far!
If I’m to become famous for anything, I’d like it to be for the incredible breadth of my scopes.
It will and you will, I feel it in my luxury biscuit tin (not a euphemism).
(sounds like a euphemism)
(it’s a euphemism now)