We’ve talked before about how companies should always be named after the person who owns them and the thing they do. We’ve also talked about companies with terrible names who break this simple rule.
A leaflet dropped through my letterbox this week – a grubby, crumpled leaflet, certainly, but one I immediately trust because it comes from a company with an excellent and clear name. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Ron’s Collectables.
Ron has it all: a professional leaflet that addresses you as “Sir of Madam”; a big list of tat that is seemingly in high demand at the moment; and a suggestion that if you’re not entirely satisfied that this is a legitimate operation then you should hand the leaflet in to The Local Police.
I was, naturally, extremely keen to do business with Ron, and have sold him my house for £150 cash.
11 comments on “A well-named business”
I’ve checked it over and it seems legit. Best get all that *checks* marcasite out of the loft and sell it now while you can.
I like that the list of semi-precious stones includes “glass”. I’m going to offer Ron the contents of our recycling box next time he rocks up in his pony and trap.
Excellent. Why, think of all the lovely seaside jewellery they could make with your glass? You could have a pair of glass bottle earrings for Kate and some kind of glass man watch or cufflinks for you.
That sounds delightful. I wonder if he does glass bottle codpieces? That would be a powerful look over my new jeans.
I like the fact that of all the things Ron collects, he’s only after the one ‘Old Post Card’. One’s enough for Ron.
You should see what’s on that one old postcard, though. Absolute solid gold filth that would turn the stomach of a seasoned brothel madam. The good stuff doesn’t come cheap.
The kind of prized possession that Dr. Owl keeps for himself and shows only to his most cherished of guests…
These bastards are all after my collectibles. Here’s another one that got rammed through my door flap.
Yes but ummm you don’t have any collectibles apart from that drinks cabinet and even then that belongs to Kate.
These chumps don’t know that. They evidently think I’m rolling in riches that I want to flog to anyone who shoves a bit of paper through my door. Have you been telling them I’m stuffed with antiques?
I did mention the bourgeois French miniature statue sewn into your jacket but other than that nothing.