So what do you do when you’ve already conquered the chips, graphic design, computers, cycle hire and boat hiring services worlds? What else could you possibly need to include in your empire to satisfy your desperate need for a domineering monopoly over the rest of the world? You want to stick your dorsal fins tightly into the music business, that’s what.
Not just any music business though. You need to enter the Southern California hardcore scene. We have all seen Big Frank and he is clearly obsessed with thrash metal, speed metal, hardcore and the like. If he’s not punking out on the roof, spitting at pigeons and throwing pork pies at strangers then he’s working tirelessly to move the hardcore scene forward with his enduring work ethic.
Let us not forget that this was the man who started Nemesis Records and who put out the first Offspring album. Big Frank began as a tea boy and worked his way up all the way to the top, grinding his teeth with local bands such as Fisticuffs, Mental Eric, Cracked Vase, Hate Your Mum and What a To Do before moving to producing some of the tastiest albums of big hitters like Vaynes, Syck Syck, Death Hands and Cheryl’s Anus.
To put everyone else to shame too, as well as doing all of this he is a full-time tattoo artist and looks after sick and injured animals. I mean I may as well give up now, there is no way I can ever compete with this man. He must work 26 hour days. Big Frank is clearly a glutton for punishment; what a guy.
The next time you’re getting neck pains from rocking too hard, I hope you’ll think of Biggy F and his overwhelming contribution not just to music but also to the world. You think long and hard, sunshine.
18 comments on “Big Frank’s Global Domination – The Music Biz”
Wait. What? My dad is Biggy F? The big-name music producer behind Syck Syck? They were my favourite band when I was a teenager! I can’t believe he never said anything!
Your dad, the your dad, was Biggy F. He clearly didn’t want to tell you for fear of you slobbering all over Syck Syck and tarnishing his rep.
I just can’t get over it. Nizzle once said in an interview that his single greatest influence as a music producer was Biggy F. And I thought, well yeah, it would be, wouldn’t it? I never suspected that might actually be Big Frank himself.
I was never the biggest fan of What a To Do but having re-listened to most of their back catalogue last night you can clearly hear the influence of Biggy F in the production. Crisp, clean but still raw as F.
Raw as Frank? Most things in my dad’s house are raw as Frank. He’s pretty raw.
No offence but as much as I admire your dad the idea of him being ‘raw’ is pretty bleak. I am sure there are plenty of housewives out there, with his lovely viso/volto pinned up on their walls, who would love a bit of rawness. Not me though. That’s a swift nay.
I don’t believe you can nay my father’s rawness, nor could you possibly no, nonny, nen or no Nanette no it. He has, absolutely and categorically, never been cooked. Your naying doesn’t change that objective fact.
You can gripe (?) and configure (?) all you want but it still does not change the fact that I don’t want that anywhere near me.
It’s the full poster of ‘No, Nanette, No’ as far as I’m concerned.
Why do you want to cook my father so badly?
Because if I do then I can be king of the elves, and I get to do the pretty teacup dance.
Shocking.
Absolutely shocking.
I’m shocked.
You understand my position now?
I understand the range of positions you oscillate through as you perform the teacup dance, and I understand the gestures you make while you do them, yes. I wish I didn’t, but I do.
Can you see it with your seeing eyes? Imagine how immense it would be with seventeen pairs of eyes viewing / watching / peering at it!
Are you up to seventeen pairs now? What’s your most recent ocular acquisition?
I ost ount f ow any ave.
l c o h m I h