Avatar Support of the pink jacket rabbit

Oh, how these thirty days have been punishing upon my legs and upon my brow. I have sought thus the goal of running a mile and a hundred in order to furnish those without with the ability to smite the evil. It has been long and I have sweated more than any man should. I have sweated more than any two men should, and showering every day has been a massive burden.

When my troubles did besmirch me, when my woes did overwhelm me, how did I manage to keep going? Those darker moments whence all the light is sucked away from the day and all you are left with is the end in the distance that leaps further and further away from your grasp. How could I keep going?

I would look to the sky, nay, to the universe above and remember that all things must pass and I, too, would soon reach the finishing line. Who was cheering me on? My girlfriend, my family, my friends, some even that were unbeknownst to me. For when browsing the shops last week did I chance upon a little beacon of hope who has been with me in spirit the entire time.

If you ever find yourself in a similar position, if you ever doubt upon your abilities or capabilities at the job within your hands, think on my friend and he will keep you on track.

Avatar Everybody has a house now

We have reached a momentous landmark in the life and times of the Beans Massive, which is that all of us – every single Bean – now owns a house.

To commemorate this occasion, I have had three beautiful portraits specially commissioned, that each recreate the atmosphere and excitement on the day we moved in to our houses.

Please enjoy these fine works of art. If you would like the original to frame and hang over your fireplace, get in touch and we can discuss terms.

Read More: Everybody has a house now »

Avatar Newsboost – Consider me considered

The July 2024 ‘Consider Me’ movement released by unsuspecting labouring footstool peddler, Chris Marshall, has seen momentum over the last few weeks and things seem to be getting more and more interesting.

By the end of July, three new people had already considered him. The day after, two more people had thought about considering him and after a few arguments it was decided that thinking about considering something still counts as considering something.

A couple from Pitsea read the article and were more than happy to consider him and did so with great gusto.

Hebburn Town Women’s football club were rumoured to be considering Chris but only if the weather allowed it. Reports have since come in that they turned down the idea of considering him after considering a weekend away in Amsterdam instead, which seemed the better of the two.

Experts have predicted that at least a dozen more people have considered or will be considering him over the next few days, with figures expected to double by this time next week.

How far will this ridiculous campaign go? Only time will tell.

Avatar ‘Lord Winklebottom Investigates’ – mini review

Pip pip! Tip top! Absolutely, old boy. Bally tally ho!

After playing ‘Lord Winklebottom Investigates’ I can safely say that whilst I will never be a posho, I can talk like them if I need to. You may remember that back in May of last year I made a post here explaining how excited I was to play an adventure game featuring a Sherlock Holmes-esque giraffe detective. I have since purchased the game and played through it so here is my review in case you were still sitting on the fence.

It’s a great game. If you’ve ever played a point and click game then you will be very familiar with the user interface. You move the curser around the screen and it will show items of interest. You can look at the item and some you are able to pick up to place in your inventory, which appears at the bottom of the screen when the curser gets near it. Your job is to use the things around you to solve the puzzles you come across. Sometimes it’s a matter of putting two items together and sometimes it requires listening carefully to what the characters are telling you and using a bit of the ole’ imagination pipes.

The story, without spoiling too much, takes you away as Lord Winklebottom to a mysterious island to meet up with an old friend and along for the ride is his good colleague, Dr Frumple. When you arrive you unfortunately discover said friend has died under mysterious circumstances and it’s up to you to work out which of the colourful characters inhabiting his mansion were responsible. You’ll need to speak to everyone to make notes of their relationship to the deceased and their reasons for being there. There is a handy notebook which automatically records certain things that comes up in conversation so you can look back on them if needs be.

Everything about this game is ridiculous and I wouldn’t want it any other way. The dialogue is very funny at times, mainly due to Dr Frumple who is the best character in the entire thing. His innate Britishness seeps into every conversation and he never NEVER puts his cup of tea down. At one point I tried to take the toilet paper and he refused to do so on the grounds that it just wasn’t on. The graphics fit the narrative and atmosphere as you’d expect them to. You can’t half arse this kind of thing, it’s balls deep or nothing. The only part that was a little disatisfying was the music which lingered in the background not really doing much. Perhaps it was doing something however I can’t remember any of it.

It’s not the hardest game in the world. You won’t come across anything as difficult as the ‘goat puzzle’ from Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars or practically everything from Grim Fandango. There was only one part where I needed to soak up some grease from a pan (don’t ask, no spoilers) that took me a little longer than expected and even then the answer was staring me in the face the entire time. I managed to finish it in under five hours and what a five hours they were. I had to wait for a price reduction as thirty squids for a game this short wouldn’t sit well with me. If you can find it for anything under a tenner then I would say go for it, old bean!

Avatar Jolly Good: dog news

A lot has happened over the last month, as you know. A lot.

Lost among all the other seismic news from September 2023 has been this piece of information, though, which feels quite important, so I am now bringing you the facts.

We now have a dog.

The dog is great. Here are just some of the things our dog is good at.

Avatar Famous faces

We went to the theatre this week to see a musical, a big West End production of the Wizard of Oz. It was great.

I wasn’t the one who booked the tickets, so I didn’t see the list of performers until we were standing outside the theatre, where I could see all the famous names lit up across the big screens on the front of the theatre.

Just look at this all star cast!

I recognised almost all of them straight away, as I bet you did too.

  • Jason Manford is a stand-up comic who has carved out a successful musical theatre career. His voice is amazing!
  • Ashley Banjo made his name as part of dance troupe Diversity on Britain’s Got Talent.
  • Georgina Onuorah is a rising star of the West End, having transferred to this production from a run in Oklahoma! and before that Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cinderella.
  • Dianne Pilkington has been in one show after another since the late 90s and is a real star of the stage. I last saw her in a production of the 39 Steps at the Criterion.
  • Louis Gaunt makes his breakthrough performance here, having previously appeared in Bridgerton and The Larkins.
  • Christina Bianco as you already know has the most amazing voice, so I was thrilled to see her on the cast list.

There’s another bloke listed up there as well but I can’t recall seeing his name anywhere before. Maybe he’s new or something? Anyway, I don’t remember seeing him in the show.