A lost classic

Over the years, our various Film Production Companies – Constantly Falling Productions, Al and Chris Productions, Chris Productions and the world famous Pouring Beans Productions – have turned out one classic movie hit after another. But talk amongst fans often turns to the story, told in hushed tones around camp fires late at night, that there is another film that was made but never released because Al lost it.

Well, those stories are true, and what’s more, Al has found the missing film under a selection of gentlemen’s art pamphlets in his attic. For the first time in a decade, Al n Chris’s Big Day Out has been unearthed. It’s a thrilling story of teleportation, time travel and evil twins.

Obviously I can’t post it here ahead of its Leicester Square premiere, but I have chosen a short clip from the pre-titles part of the film that shows what an incredible find it really is. In the space of just 24 seconds, this clip contains brilliant acting, exciting CGI graphics, a powerful original musical score and some nudity. Enjoy!

The Edge of Popular Culture

You see me, right? I’m not very good at keeping up with what is fashionable and popular amongst the general population. I must say, however, I was downright confused when I came across this in Primark:

So, I guess this is a thing. Has everyone else been wearing mens lingerie and they just haven’t told me? Are there underground mens lingerie clubs where people strut around in their hosiery and take photos on selfie sticks? Has my imagination ran away and hid under the stairs because such a thing cannot possibly exist, or has the world lovingly embraced dudes in delicate pants?

Please. Your comments please.

Wisdom of the 1970s

Yes, I know, the 1970s are now the often-maligned decade that brought us dodgy celebrities and brown corduroy flares. It is hard to forgive such things. But one thing the 70s did know a thing or two about is sunstroke. How do you keep the sun off your overheating head? The 70s know. The 70s have it all figured out, and it has nothing to do with expensive sun cream or buying an overpriced straw hat from an itinerant beach salesman.

The Return of Mr Smith!

Sitting Smith

Yes that’s right… you heard it here first… Mr Smith is back!

After a brief hiatus of only 7 years, Mr Smith returns in his latest tale of woe, murder and partying, “Mr Smith and the Cactus”.

Read it HERE now.

Essex Highway

It’s here! It’s super! It’s Essex Highway!

Or you can watch it on our Vimeo page.

What Became of Miss McGee?

Crystal Palace’s most famous resident (possibly), Bum Chin Bollock Neck McGee, has left Church Road for pastures new.

A new resident has already moved in. I don’t know her name. Perhaps you do?

Finally, Equality at the Royal Mail

For too long, posting letters and other items has been the preserve of the heterosexual. Outdated Victorian rules dictated that homosexual post carried a dangerous residue and it was too risky to allow it into the postal system.

Of course, science disproved that many years ago, and now the Royal Mail are catching up. New Gay Postboxes are springing up everywhere, allowing people of all sexual preferences to enjoy the sending of items nationwide.