Hi there, welcome to a new series where we review the mundane everyday objects that everyone has and pays no attention to. This time around its the turn of Toothpaste.

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I mean, come on now. There was no way that I could keep purchasing things that I couldn’t use nor needed in any particular way. This blatant frivolity had to stop at some point and that point is now.

That is until after this post. This will represent the last of the ‘Pointless Purchases’ posts because what with having a car now and being a proper human, I mean adult, I don’t have any spare money to be frittering away on unopened video games, no matter how much they’ll fetch in a couple of years time. It’s best to go out with a bang though; give ’em something to remember you with.

So here’s what you’ve been waiting for; amiibos. Nintendo’s controversial answer to Skylanders and Disney Infinity which would take too long to explain all the why’s and the how’s. I own 22 of them in total. All you need to know is the following:

1. In order to use the amiibos you need a Wii U, the successor to the highly successful Wii console. I don’t have one of these so they all remain in their boxes.

2. You can also use them on the updated versions of the 3DS handheld consoles. I do own one but it’s still sealed in its box.

3. Even if I tried to use them with the 3DS I couldn’t. They have been specifically designed to only be used by taking them out of their boxes, and I don’t want to do that because I think they look nice in their boxes.

Take a deep breath, take a bow and leave the stage. It’s all over now, baby blue.

I will miss my pointless purchases.

I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, “Straight out of Christmas there’s no way that he could have money to burn and even if he did there’s no way he’d be stupid enough to put it up on the Beans.” Well clearly you’ve never met me because I’m much more stupid than that.

Yes! The glorious pothole that is the Pointless Purchase section. Let’s take a peek at what has been taking up space in the cupboard:

And why we’re these a Pointless Purchase? Let’s go to our official mascot, Pointless Purchase Panda.

1. The main reason would be that these are all blu rays and he doesn’t own a blu ray player. Even if he wanted to watch them he couldn’t.

2. The second reason is that he already owns them all on dvd, so there was no need to buy them again.

3. To make matters worse he watched the aforementioned dvds a couple of days before making the purchase just to really make the whole thing even sillier.

Thank you, Pointless Purchase Panda. I suppose the icing on the cake would have been if they were blu rays from a different region but never mind. I think I’ve made my point.

I can hear Kev’s blood pressure rising as I type… A job well done!

Ah, go on then. Seeing as you have all been desperate to know what other pointless things I have been spending my money on it’s only fair that we wheel out another pointless purchase of the month. June was pretty quiet but I’ve been looking to get my hands on one of these sweet sweet babies for the past week or so.

And here it is.

Marvellous. Incredible. Completely pointless. Why? Let’s go over the details:

1. It’s a brilliant game, but I wouldn’t know. I haven’t had a chance to play it yet. I originally bought the special limited edition version which is still sealed in its original packaging, hidden away in the cupboard of wonders. So I do previously own it but decided to buy it again.

2. I actually already own it twice. The special edition and the less special edition, both of which are still sealed. So this would make the third version of the same game which I still haven’t played yet.

3. Even if I wanted to play it I couldn’t. The game requires an additional piece of equipment to strap to the bottom of the Wii remote  which I don’t own. Actually, I do own but it’s contained in the special limited edition version just to make matters that little bit more pointless.

Being the age I am now, owning all the pointless things that I do, sometimes I look at it all and wonder just what the hell it is that I’m playing at. Then I realise that I love it even more because of just how pointless it all is and then I laugh like a potter’s wheel and go to bed.

Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Good Night.

You don’t get a Good Morning though; you’re not good enough.

So it’s come to my attention that I haven’t been telling people about the pointless things I spend my money on. I know that you’re always dying to know so it was only fair that I eventually gave in and spilled the electronical metaphorical beans. I would literally love to spill some beans but I’m too busy for that at the moment.

Take a tasty look at my tasty wears:

What you are looking at is the limited edition ‘Fort George’ 7″ EP. It’s a marvellous thing to look at, and not just because it is amber ‘beer’ coloured vinyl. A tiny robust collection of music brimming with hooks and other things. If you could put this into your eyes to see how it feels then you would do it. So why, do you ask, is this purchase pointless? The vinyl itself is not; it is a stupendous thing however to me it is pointless for the following reasons:

1. I already own the Minus the Bear song in two different formats.
2. I had to import it from the US, adding to the inital expense.
3. My record player is currently out of action so even if I did want to listen to it I can’t…
4. Well actually that’s incorrect. You do get a digital download with the vinyl but I can never bring myself to lessen the value of the product by actually using it.
5. I bought two just for the hell of it.

So as you can see this was a complete waste of time and an utterly pointless purchase.