The sun was out. The weather was fine. What a lovely day for a drive (and various other old man things).
As I pondered these thoughts my eyes started scanning the horizon line for something to catch my attention. There’s always something out there:
- Simply Dutch – the home furniture shop in Northallerton that I always see when driving home to Leeds and still in 2023 have yet to visit (possibly always has a sale)
- The Amazon Depot (around the County Durham area on the A1) – you can see it a mile away, the greyest, dullest building you’ve ever seen. It’s about as fun-looking as a machete through the face
- Any sign with the village name ‘Shilbottle’ on it – if you know, you know
I was almost home driving North on the A1 when I came across a sign that I hadn’t seen before. There was no chance for me to take a photo so I made a mental note of the name and decided to come back to it later.
When later came about, after putting it to the back of my mind, I decided to see if I could find it. I expected to have it buried under a bunch of similar-sounding business names or other things. It shows what I know. Top o’ the list it was:
Chair Finder is an antiques store in Durham (and to a lessor extent London). They believe every chair as its own character and story to tell. They also have a range of curated interior pieces that they find along the way and simply cannot resist. Not only can you peruse a bunch of chairs but you can also get your nose into a other acquisitions such as stone owls and paintings of men riding donkeys. It’s a plethora of things to delight the senses. No wait, the donkey rider has sold. You’ll have to make do with the ‘Portrait of an English gentleman’ instead.
Now whenever I hear the name I can’t help but add ‘general’ to the end of it so it sounds more like Witchfinder General. There are a bunch of dangerous, drooling men scouring the world, ready to offer you good money for your chairs. They’ll take them away and make them look better or whatever it is antique people do. Something involving Pledge? Maybe.
If Chris had looked on Chair Finder maybe he wouldn’t have spent seven hundred years trying to find the foot rest, foot stool, foot hanger (?) that he needed to match his chair. They would have sent him one in a few hours. He could have saved himself a boatload of trouble.
Perhaps you’re in need of some chairs. Perhaps you need the guidance of a more experienced pair of hands. If you have a problem, if no-one else can help and if you can find them maybe you can hire the Chair Finder.
6 comments on “Chair finder”
They’ve found some really weird chairs.
What happens if the Chair Finder General comes to your house? Does he just find the chairs and then feel pleased that he’s rooted them all out, or does he round them up to add to his website?
I don’t think you have a choice in the matter. If he turns up at your door you know what’s going to happen; all the chairs will be gone and you will have to sit on the floor until next week or possibly he week after.
He should really be called the Chair Finder and Remover General in that case. At present his job title is misleading.
Do you reckon he named himself in the same way I kept giving myself nicknames over a decade ago?
Possibly so. The best way to tell is if there are actually a dozen more nicknames in addition to those two.
If I had the time I would check the credits (?) however I don’t and I don’t think antique people have credits.