Avatar Culture in the workplace: newsflash

Almost two years ago, in July 2022, you might remember that I blessed the toilets at work with a second piece of artwork. Thanks to my efforts to improve the lives of my colleagues, Piet Mondrian’s Composition London 1940-42 has been gracing the gents for the last 23 months.

I now need to report to you an important development. Since 2021 I have been placing beautiful artworks in the toilets, but now it appears I am not alone. Last week, Mondrian made way for a new image, placed there by an unknown hand.

It’s undeniable that the new artwork is a little less highbrow than my choices, but art is for the people, and I am not going to stand in the way of a more populist approach if it increases the appeal of the men’s toilets.

We’ll see how long Werther’s Original Man lasts. When he disappears I’ll collect your suggestions for a replacement with mass appeal, if the mystery curator doesn’t get there first.

10 comments on “Culture in the workplace: newsflash

  • I’m surprised that you sound so surprised. Where I lead others follow. The only surprising thing is that there isn’t a queue round the block at all times, just in case I say or do something inspirational.

  • I don’t know, actually. While I’m quite the art coinneuseur when it comes to Piet Mondrian and Leonardo da Vinci, the different eras of Worthers Original men are something I couldn’t discuss in any detail, certainly not in front of a live audience.

  • Wow. On second thought, I’d buy a few packets of those. I’d hate them, because I don’t like Werthers, so maybe I’d throw the sweets into the River Tyne instead. Fish like toffees, right?

  • Fish love toffees, but would be offended by bad language, so if the wrappers have the word bitch on them, make sure you open them and only throw the toffees in.

  • I didn’t know that. Is that why they threw a large crustacean at me because I was spitting some rhymes on the boardwalk? It was something like, “shit my fist, shit my wrist, fuck tha’ pipe, crack yo list, shit yo milk, cock off pimp, suck my dick, ride ma blimp.”

    It’s a song called ‘Mrs Weatherbottom’s trip to the country’.

  • That’s beautiful. You should take that one carolling when we get a bit nearer Christmas. The old people will love it.

    (“Shit yo milk” had me in creases.)

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