When the New Beans started back in 2014, we all set up Gravatars of our cartoon heads in orange circles so that our comments would have our own special Beans graphics next to them. Kev would always be Kev, I would always be me and Ian would always be Ian. This was Very Important.
Then, last year, Ian changed his email address and picked a strange pencil drawing of a fat bloke to be his new Gravatar. Since that day, Kev has still been Kev and I’ve still been me, but Ian has been a pencil drawing of a fat bloke. This is obviously unacceptable.
Several months have now gone by, and Ian has failed to remedy this distressing situation, so I have taken matters into my own hands. I have rewritten the code that runs the site to specifically find and rewrite the avatar that appears next to comments he posts. Ian is now Ian again, by brute force. He no longer has a say in the matter. This is justice in action.
If you find any comments anywhere on the site that still show the wrong avatar, please let me know so I can make this ridiculous and oppressive intervention even more thorough.
16 comments on “Fixing Ian”
I tried to change it not so long ago and it tried to take me to some other website shizzles so I gave up.
Not to worry. I’ve taken a sledgehammer to that porcelain problem. (What?)
I AM FIXED. I HAVE LEARN SO MUCH.
I’m glad you tenderised that glass of vase and such (what?).
Absolutely that, and possibly other things. I totally agree.
Incidentally, who is the fat bloke in the pencil drawing?
That was Porco Rosso. He’s me but a pig, an excellent pilot and Michael Keaton’s voice. You see? Me.
“In Italy in the 1930s, sky pirates in biplanes terrorize wealthy cruise ships as they sail the Adriatic Sea. The only pilot brave enough to stop the scourge is the mysterious Porco Rosso (Shuichiro Moriyama), a former World War I flying ace who was somehow turned into a pig during the war.”
I’ve never seen it but that’s one hell of a setup.
…and such an accurate description of Ian its uncanny.
I like how vague the phrase “somehow turned into a pig” is. It takes what is probably the most interesting bit of the whole story and just brushes straight over it. That’s some ballsy storytelling.
It is and it is. You should watch it, then we can all obsess over how smashing it is.
Did he change his name to ‘Porco’ after he became a pig, or is it just a happy coincidence?
I’m going to make an educated guess that, at about the same time that pigdom overcame him, his name “somehow turned into Porco”.
Tis true, his real name is Marco. Porco was a good fit for his porcine ways.
Say for instance if I was turned into a pig, possibly with some kind of vine growing up my leg as they do, I wouldn’t have as great a name. I’d be Pigian, which could either sound very Pigeon-y or like a brand of shoe polish.
Marco Porco would be a good name for an adaptation of Marco Polo where Marco Polo is a pig.
Or that game where you look for things blindfolded. Maybe it could be a version where you are searching for a bacon sandwich?
Do you mean ‘Donyket’?
I’d be more likely to play it if I got a bacon butty at the end.