On a walk recently, I came across this motivational message for Kev.
If he’s still finding it hard to push himself through the final moments of his course, or squeeze another podcast out, or maybe even put a post of some kind on the Beans, perhaps he can turn to this and feel the wind at his back.
Hill!
Start, Hill!
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Now that he’s no longer stuck under the sweaty palm of Johnny “Tutoring” University pants, the world is his oyster. He’ll be cracking off the podcasts in no time once he sees that sign.
Johnny “Tutoring” Universitypants – or, actually, Professor Johnny “Tutoring” Universitypants to you – has done a lot of good tutoring in his special university Y-fronts. But there was a personality clash when Kev joined his special colouring in lectures that neither of them could ever get past. It’s for the best that Kev flunked the whole course and became a surfer.
With his flowing locks and rippling pecs, he’s now the star and number one attraction along the coast of Bridlington.
And rightly so. When surf’s up he can tit about pointlessly in the sea with the best of them. When surf’s down, of course, he returns to shore, orders a beer at the bar next to the crazy golf pirate place, and regales holidaymakers with his surfing tales while grooming their poodles.
… if it’s open, that is. Sometimes even the residents of Bridlington are caught off guard when it comes to the off season.
Out of season?
Oeuf season?
You know what I mean
Yeah. Sometimes you can’t go for a beer on the seafront because everything is closed due to the overwhelming grimness of Brid. Sometimes you have to get your own beer from Tesco Express and drink it on your own, sitting in a pair of lurid hawaiian beach shorts on top of a Biffa skip in the pay and display car park.
It’s the English way. I don’t need sun, sass and s-chairs, I’ll drink where I want.
You certainly will. And Kev will drink what he wants, where he wants, wearing whatever skimpy beachwear he wants.