Observation. Observation is key when considering the details of modern life. You might “see” something on your way to work or on your way out of the house but are you really “observing” it?
Luckily even with the downgrade shortly after the Covid pandemic, I still have plenty of eyes with which to keep tabs on things happening around me. When the economy picks up again I hope to install some more eyes, maybe something European. I would look tip top with a pair of mirar ojos or regarder yeux. Something classy, you know?
Whenever I visit home, I usually walk the same ways up and down main street; round the back streets, through the car park on Barley Hill road and out past the path between the cobblers and the firm of solicitors on the corner, then on the way back straight down the main road (but not in the middle of it, that would be silly). I have walked this way hundreds of times and you would have to be an unobservant fool to not see the dance school opposite the car park.
I have seen this place and yet it is only recently that I observed the sign advertising it. There are in fact two, one over the doorway and one on the side of the building. Both signs are almost identical apart from a full stop. Why would a full stop be so important you ask? The accreditations of the dance school are why it’s so important.
I am no dancer. If you see me dancing you’ll wish you hadn’t. I don’t know a pirouette from a monestary. Are they dance moves or names of clowns? Who knows. The sign on the side has three sets of acronyms but the one on the front, at first glance, has only one: I.D.T.A.B.F.A.B.B.O. That’s one long qualification, I thought, and what the hell could it stand for? Ten words? Are these dance people mad? I looked a little closer and saw that it was actually two acronyms: I.D.T.A and B.F.A.B.B.O.
Are they having a laugh? Imagine having that printed on your business card and having to explain what it stood for. Having done a bit of research I believe the sign on the side is the correct one because I.D.T.A (International Dance Teachers Association), B.F.A (Batchelor of Fine Arts) and B.B.O (British Ballet Organisation) are all legit. From a quick look on Google Maps though this one was put up first which begs the question why did they then print a second sign that was incorrect?
If I get close enough will the rogue full stop turn out to be a giant spider? I wish I had taken a photo because there are no photos of the sign on the internet and I sound like another crazy person talking about something that may or may not exist. I guess I will have to wait until my next visit to solve this mystery (not a mystery).
UPDATE (02/08/2023): since writing this post I have done some digging and with a little help have managed to obtain these up-to-date photos of both signs.
My memory was totally wrong about the BFA. It was, however, correct about the full stop. The top picture is the side sign and the bottom is the one on the front which has that extra full stop making it look like a mega qualification.
10 comments on “I.D.T.A.B.F.A.B.B.O”
I feel like the only mysterious bits of this have already been solved. All that remains is for you to enrol in the dance school and perfect your Samba.
You know what this requires? A FLUFFING UPDATE!
You’ve fluffing well updated it now! That’s my boy. What an absolute state those signs are. Who is their graphic designer? I’ll tell you one thing, whoever knocked those up didn’t have an I.D.T.A.B.F.A.B.B.O. after his name.
They certainly didn’t and I doubt they ever will do either.
I only hope that other citizens don’t hold it against the dance school. It always sounds busy when we walk past, even on a Sunday. Mad.
Torch the place. That’ll soon put a stop to them.
I can’t remember what we were talking about so take that advice with a pinch of salt.
Whatever I’m doing, torch the place. Gotcha.
Speaking of torching things… before you do, I just need to see if they can loan us a back room for storing your latest novel, “Three Shits to the Wind” .They’ll be safe in there right if its so busy. But yeah, torch it.
Is that “Three Shits to the Wind: The Secret Bathroom Attendant Within Me (M-Me)”?
That’s the one. I’ve got 10 pallets of them in the back room.
You best keep them for winter and, ha ha, nothing to do with me I’m afraid. I mean I did write the foreword but that was before that back-stabbing assistant of mine, well, stabbed me in the back.