Jamiroquai is a band. Jamiroquai is fronted by the singer Jay Kay; we all know this. But do you know what Jamiroquai is not? This revolutionary series sets out to reliably inform the world all of the things that Jamiroquai is not.
57. A Swift
Jamiroquai is not a swift. However you look at it, whichever angle you come at this from and no matter how bad you squint your eyes Jamiroquai is not a swift. You could certainly draw a beak and wings on the band members. Heck, the lead singer has a name that actually is a bird. But is Jamiroquai a swift? No, not in the slightest.
Tests carried out on various members of the public also confirm almost conclusively that the residents of Tumbridge Wells do not consider Jamiroquai to be a swift. The local newspaper has never run any articles about the bird-like nature of any member of the band. None of the benches in the city centre have any graffiti whatsoever that has any connection to ornithology or the British funk/acid jazz group.
I’ve never met anyone who has ever mentioned in passing about Jamiroquai pertaining to be anything else other than a band who have sold in excess of 40 million albums worldwide. There are no pictures of swifts in the RSPB drawn by children that are called Jamiroquai or have been sketched by anyone called Jamiroquai.
Little Richard never sang a song about how alike the high aerial birds are to the MTV and Grammy award-winning group. Ross Kemp has never been in a documentary detailing the comparisons between the two.
In short, I think it’s fair to say that out of all the things that Jamiroquai could be, they are not a swift.
9 comments on “Jamiroquai is not… #57 – a swift”
I’m glad we got that cleared up. I’ve been wondering about this for years and was on the brink of making a post titled “will someone please tell me whether Jamiroquai is a swift?” when I saw this.
Unfortunately I am unable to relax because this informative article has just raised further questions for me. Such as: where is Tumbridge Wells? Is it a real place? Or is it just a sad casualty of your flimflam key?
I’m much more relaxed now I know this… But tell me this, is Jamiroquai a small rental cottage in the cotswolds?
I think it might be. My policy is to assume that Jamiroquai is something until I’ve been specifically told that it’s not.
That seems the common way of operating with this lot. Why else would we need to be informed that they are not in fact, a swift.
I think that particular thing, Mr Menendez, will be discussed at a later date. The producers have it marked down as being #131 so you have a while to wait.
Surely if the series is about things that Jamiroquai is not, then the existence of that future episode means that they are not a small rental cottage in the Cotswolds.
By that logic yes I suppose so. That would mean that they’re also not Pat Boone nor John Ketley.
In many ways that spoils the surprise a bit.
It DOES, doesn’t it?