Do you like plums?
Do you like jam?
Do you like jammy plums? Then we’ve got the product for you!
‘Kev’s Plums’ is a brand new treat that you and your family can enjoy all day, every day. We’ve taken the rich, tangy taste of plums and mapped that (using a computer) into the best kind of food you could ever have; jam!
Spread it on apples, spread it on potatoes, sponges, pizza and ice cream. You can even spread it on toast.
‘Kev’s Plums’ contains half the sugar you’d expect from other inferior james but with twice the taste. Experts agree with an overwhelming 96% on Rotten Tomatoes and 8.9 score on IMDB.
Bring life back to the party. Bring your life to life with ‘Kev’s Plums’!
(From Kev Inc., a subsiduary of the Kevindo Menendez food dynasty).
10 comments on “Kick out the jam (into your mouth)”
(In case Chris feels upset at his lack of plum products, I was supposed to give him some at Christmas but forgot. They may or may not be in the post by now)
I do like plums!
I do like jam!
I do like jammy plums!
(Chris is excited to hear about his forthcoming post.)
I would like to add that those crumpets need more jam on them, and also so much butter that it leaves a big melty butter puddle on the plate.
Presumably, Ian eats them cold like his toast, so the butter would just be a hard lump sat on top.
No butter here, sunshine. Nothing but plummy goodness. If you’re trying to sell your plum products you don’t want solid cow produce stinking up your photo.
So, so wrong. So unbelievably wrong. If I was Kev I’d be making a special trip to Choppingthorpe to confiscate the rest of the plummy jams.
Too late, half the jar is already gone. I’ve been plumming it up like a right lad.
Put the jar down or I’m calling the police. Wait, no, the police are probably busy. I’ll call the coastguard.
Sorry lad, I’m too busy plumming about to notice what you’re on about #plumlife
You’ll change your tune when Mountain Rescue get there and forcibly remove all plums from the premises, including those you’ve already eaten.