Not so many years ago, Kevin Hill, Science Master, introduced the world to the Majestic Bird Goose – the biggest development in the world of ornithology since the self-boiling egg.
It is now time to introduce the next major leap forward in the world of birds. I am proud to present to you the Leggy Duck.
The Leggy, or “Upstairs”, Duck has all the key advantages of a duck (flotation, quacking, beak etc.) but now mounted atop a much taller length of leg. Just imagine what that means!
- Greater distance between duck chassis and ground
- Higher vantage point, resulting in better sense of perspective when surveying territory
- Leg bendiness allows duck to adjust height when lower altitudes are needed, e.g. when strafing through hostile gunfire
- Waddling speed of 12mph
The all-new Leggy Duck was also developed to incorporate some of the most popular features of the Majestic Bird Goose, and is capable of some of the most contemptuous pooping-and-strutting-away of any bird on earth. Thanks to the Leggy Duck’s remarkable legginess (or “leggitude” for readers in the US and Canada), users will find its pooping is particularly impressive, with a long drop and broad spread, and its strut devastatingly fast.
The new Leggy Duck: a revolution with feathers™. Order yours now.
24 comments on “Leggy Duck”
Look at ‘dem pins! Is this some kind of supermodel duck or are they all like this?
I know, right? I’m pleased to confirm that all Leggy Ducks are this legular. Their epic legularity is universal.
Does it have a twitter account? I am following them apples as soon as possible. I want leggy duck pictures every day in my viso/volto.
No. The Leggy Duck is not on social media. This is a real world event and you need to engage with it in the physical realm. Not everything is on the “gram”, you know.
Real world? As in outside the window? As in not through a screen? As in where the fresh air lives and the happy people frolic?
Never heard of it.
Yeah, there. That’s where the Leggy Ducks are at. Until you head out there and get them, you’re right off the fashions, let me tell you.
I’m at an age now where no matter what I do I am continuously off the fashions. So much so that most days I spell it ‘fashuns’. Yes, it’s gotten that bad.
Wow, I think you’d struggle to be any further from the phasheuns than that. I’m a bit distressed by it. Probably the best thing to do is try to get a bit closer to them again.
How do you carefully edge closer to the faschunds? Is it a technique or do I need a magic cloak?
It’s neither. It’s a look. First, be confident. Own the stage. Second, place your left foot provocatively out and make eye contact with the fatcheons. Finally, begin your edgy shuffle. The crowd love you. They cheer and whoop. You’re winning.
I read that as, “Owl the stage”. You can’t owl a stage, I’ve tried. And strage is not a word. That’s a fact.
Owl own the stage, don’t shrew worry. Owl annexe it.
I want shrew to know, owl do anything for your stage.
Stoat shrew worry about tit.
Owl be highly unlikely to worry about tit cow that shrew have made your intentions deer.
(I was going to write, “Thanks Skate #skatesquared” but that doesn’t really work. It’s an animal, yes, yet that doesn’t mean it can successfully fit into the sentence).
(It’s the thought that counts.)
(“An attempt was made”)
Has an attempt been made to edge closer to the fashions, as I suggested above?
I tried but it didn’t work. My shirt is un-ironed, my socks are all holey and I’ve got less Leggy Ducks than when I started with! I don’t know how that happened.
I don’t know either. Tell you what, let’s look back at the slo-mo action replay!
…no, I still don’t know, but now I don’t know more slowly.
Thanks though, it made me realise that watching things in slo-mo is a good waste of time. I will be sure to wangle up some days by doing this.
I recommend getting totally “meta” by watching slo-mo replays of people watching slow-mo replays.
Woah, you mean… and then you… with the… wow.
Mind blown. I need to sit down.
Do it slowly.