Today one of my colleagues was looking for me. I could tell because there was a voice from the corridor that said “where’s Chris?”. At that particular moment Chris was sitting on a chair in the office where he usually sits, so this was not a mystery that would take long to solve.
A moment later the owner of the voice came through the door and said “how did you get there? You weren’t here a minute ago”. This was true. A minute ago I had been in the toilet having a little wee. But discretion is the mark of a gentleman, so I chose not to mention it.
My colleague contemplated my mysterious and unexplained arrival, and declared that I was like the wind, moving about silently and without being seen. That is not a comparison that has ever been made before, and if I were to dispute it I’d say that all I’d done was call in to the bathroom while moving from one room to another, and it was just chance that my colleague had been trying to find me at the moment when I was not in one place or the other. But I chose not to dispute it because I like this idea.
Yes. I am like the wind.
20 comments on “Like the wind”
Are you like Ian’s wind?
I hope not. I think he’s more like real wind, like actual wind, like wind. Blowy wind. You know wind?
No. I am not to be compared with Ian’s gastric outrages. Ian is right, I am like actual, blowy wind.
Did Patrick Swayze write ‘She’s Like the Wind’ about you?
No, that’s not true. But Bette Midler did write “Wind Beneath My Wings” about me.
What about ‘Windy’ by the Association? I was always convinced that was about you, before the accusations that you are the wind.
I don’t know that one so I’m going to say no. “Mandy” by Barry Manilow is about me, though.
How did you feel when Westlife covered it?
Are you the ‘Winds of Change’ in the Scorpions song?
Horribly soiled
and
Yes.
Are you the ‘Pigs of Change’ that has nothing to do with this particular thread?
I might be, but as it has nothing to do with this particular thread, I will not elucidate.
When do pigs change?
When they bacon.
Best answer I could have expected under the circumstances. How many more wind songs are about Chris?
4
* Wild is the Wind (David Bowie)
* Blowin’ in the Wind (Bob Dylan)
* Catch the Wind (Donovan)
* Blowing Kisses in the Wind (Paula Abdul)
Does Paula Abdul have a thing about you?
She has a definite thing about wind, I know that.
That explains the smell from her dressing room.
(waaaaaaaaaaaaay!)