Winter hits the roofs of many,
Like death would touch the life of Kenny.
There’s nothing to revive the heat,
A fanciful, audible, minty treat.
That is, or was, or should have been
Until now. I have foreseen
The future, oh it blinds my gaze,
This thing will astound and amaze.
You need to see this, you need to taste
The power of lukewarm toothpaste.

It cuddles and caresses your gums,
Whether on brushes or on thumbs.
It’s stroking all your sexy edges,
On the streets and behind hedges.
It nestles and nuzzles and frequents
Those areas food just cann’t dent.
It’s watching you as you try to sleep,
So it can heat where you can’t creep.

You may be scared but hear my words,
They stick to you like lemon curds,
It would be such a dreadful waste
To not adore lukewarm toothpaste.