I’m not sure if a building built in the 1500’s can be said to be having a mid life crisis in 2024, but if it can, then this one is. Like a post-divorce Michael Gove popping up in an Aberdeen nightclub, Temple Newsham is entering it’s “rave stage”.
We visited on Sunday and it was off it’s tits on something. The whole garden had been filled with mysterious lights (and hairy balls) and it had put it’s loudest attire on to have a good old boogie.
Fair play I say. Happy New Year all!
9 comments on “Midlife Crisis”
That’s nothing; I saw it driving around in a red sports car with two hot babes half, no no, a third, not even that, a lot younger than it. Completely disgraceful.
All those coloured lights are an improvement if you ask me. Last time I went to Temple Newsam it was wearing a leather jacket and a pair of ridiculous trainers.
Was that around the time it kept dying its hair black with Just for Men? Everyone knew, it was embarrassing.
Yeah, just after it had thought about taking flying lessons, but then given that up to become a tantric yogi.
You should have seen it trying to ride a Harley Davidson. Thank god that phase passed quickly.
I nearly spat out my milkshake when it started to openly talk about its sex life in public. I don’t know what’s worse, that or taking selfies and exchanging friendship bracelets with teenagers at Taylor Swift concerts.
Oh god, the story about it sleeping with Castle Howard at a work Christmas party. The indiscretion was bad enough but the mental image of them bumping uglies turned my stomach.
You didn’t have to comfort Castle Howard for the next two weeks. I lost precisely 9 lunchbreaks to crying, dribbling and moaning that it never called back afterwards.
Has anyone explained what the black and white striped animal in the last photo is? It looks like a sort of zebra/raccoon hybrid.