So… there’s nothing quite like the English language. It can manipulated and distorted in so many ways that what it resembles now is completely different to how it was a hundred, fifty, even twenty years ago.
That said, sometimes innovation does not happen overnight. You have to allow it to simmer for a while. It will bubble to the surface to get your attention when it is ready to do so. Don’t rush it, for the love of Buster Keaton! I was recently scouring the internet to look for a birthday present for my godson and instead stumbled over this.
Ladies and gentleman, let me present you with a link to the Animal Pig:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B013PX3XYI
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Animal Pig you should know two important things:
- This pig is an animal
- This animal is a pig
Note how the two facts are very similar but also very different at the same time. I had gone looking for a present and alternatively received an education in how to refer to modern animals.
Now when I am on my way to a farm I can look forward to seeing the Animal Cows, the Animal Chickens and the Animal Goats. If I’m heading to a zoo I can feast my eyes upon the Animal Elephants, the Animal Giraffes and possibly, if they’re not too busy, the Animal Tigers.
I’m already working on a FUN leaflet for my nieces to explain that we’ve been doing nature all wrong and that we have to shift with the times otherwise we’ll just look simple.
In one sense, why did no-one tell me this sooner?! In another, awww, pigs.
13 comments on “Modern Life is Confusing”
I think you’ll find that there’s no such thing as Animal Chickens. They are Bird Chickens.
I am reminded of their close relative, the Majestic Bird Goose.
Ah yes, the BIRD GOOSE as it was previously known.
On my phone this post didn’t look right. On here it does. Here is clearly better than my phone.
Is there any information to indicate whether the Animal Pig is also majestic?
Having also seen it hiding in Sainsburys, I can confirm that there is no majesty is the Animal Pig.
This is good to know.
Is it worth me asking whether the Fish Bird is majestic?
If you can keep it to a four word question then yes. If not, forget it.
I can do it in three.
Fish bird: majestic?
Fantastic and you saved a word too. A precious, precious word. Don’t forget about the words. I remember a time when Jerry Loinsford (remember him?) had an appeal not to waste letters of the alphabet. What a modern day hero he was.
I do remember him, but unfortunately my appetite for Jerry Loinsford anecdotes will remain extremely low until I am furnished with the answer to my three-word question.
The answer to your three-word question is simply “Yessy yes yes cubed baby!”
How’s your appetite now? Is it keen?
My appetite is not quite keen, but appears quite alarmingly soiled.
If you’ve got a soiled appetite I don’t want in on that. You can have some Loinsford anecdotes when you’ve calmed down.
Deal.