Approximately one billion years ago, when he briefly ran his own website that heavily featured the letter Q, our very own Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver published a list of all the names by which he was regularly known, and for a man still in his late teens the list was hugely impressive.
I never thought of myself as a chap with a lot of nicknames (a term indicating a familiar name for a person that is not their official or legal designation, and which is short for the more descriptive “Nicholas Name”), but recently a series of new ones were bestowed upon me (thank you Bex and Zeb), with promises that they would all be used, and it caused me to count up how many I have now accrued.
Please enjoy this potentially exhaustive, and certainly exhausting, list of the nicknames that can be used to address me. If you can remember any others then please do chuck them at the comments section.
From family and related areas
- Kipper
- Kissifer
- Pififer
- Christopheles
From school
- Marshall
- Monobrow
- Christopheles J. Bartholomew
From friends of various denominations
- Captain Numbers
- James
- Topher
- Virginia Woolf (not used very often)
- Criss Crimz
- Crich5156
From work
- Chris B
- Crispy
- Chuckles
- Charlie Chuckles
Newly added this week and now available for use
- Chris Army Knife
- A Swing and a Chris
- Chrispy Kreme
- Chrismas Cake
- Going the Christance
- Long Christance Relationship
- Chris Congeniality
- Chrisalis
- Chris from a Rose
- French Chrissing in the USA
- The Chrisard of Oz
- The Ipchris File
- No More Christer Nice Guy
- The Long Chris Goodnight
- Christal Maze
- Chris and chips
- Chrission Impossible
- Chrississippi
- We Built Chris City on Rock and Roll
4 comments on “Nicknamenews”
What happened to Chris Crimz, your current nom-de-plume? or Crich5156?
This new section does seem like the work of someone who’s desperately tried to think of a funny name for a horse in a charity race night to name after themselves, and tried a bit too hard.
I now want to know why you are called Chris B at work? Is it because you aren’t quite as good as Chris A?
I have updated the post accordingly.
Chris B came about because, just before I joined the department, one Chris had just left, and another Chris had been recruited. The new one was therefore named Chris 2.0, or just “two point oh” for short. My arrival then presented a problem: the obvious thing was to call me Chris 3.0, but I wasn’t replacing 2.0, I was arriving alongside him. I was therefore equal but different. It was decided (before I had even arrived on day 1) that I should therefore be known as Chris B.
This caused a problem a couple of years later when another Chris joined the team, who had a surname that begins with B, but could not be referred to as “Chris B” because that name was taken. We call him Boy Wonder.
All of this sounds as though you get paid a lot of money to tit about with names.
It DOES, doesn’t it? But I’d like to reassure you that I also drink quite a lot of tea.