Once there was a man who lived in his house with his wife and two kids.
It was a happy home, mainly because of the love shared between everyone but also because it had about five thousand rooms and was kept constantly up-to-date because of the man’s obsession with DIY. It had more bathrooms than your average B & Q megastore.
One day the man went to work and when he came home there were some unwanted visitors. It was a flock of bees, wanting to come and stay in the mansion because there were no rooms left in the Travelodge up the road. The man considered their proposal but ultimately had to turn it down as he had heard that bees have a bad reputation and sometimes leave wet towels on the floor rather than putting them over the side of the bath or on a radiator.
The next day the bees were still there, refusing to leave from the garden. Everyone stayed inside the house to keep away from the bees. They built their own bee house in a tree and laughed at anyone who dared come near their keep. The man ran to his car so he could still go to work, putting together dib-dabs in a computer. When he came back in the evening he discovered that the bees had bought a crowbar and forced their way into the house. As he dialled 999 he heard them upstairs, possibly nibbling crackers and spraying the crumbs all over the carpet. He called a bee man, Mr Bee as he is known to his fans, who drilled a hole in the wall and threw BBQ sauce in to drive the bees out. Everyone knows that bees hate barbecues due to their jealously over not being able to use metal prongs.
Prongs.
The bees left the house yet decided to hang around so they formed the shape of a strawberry and hung on the corner of the house. It did look pretty, from a distance. Mr Bee also dropped some crates in the garden with the intention of scooping all the bees up and putting them in ice cream to sell to pensioners down on the South coast of England. One by one, the bees formed an orderly queue and went into the box as the film ‘Cocoon’ was being shown. Popcorn was passed around. A jolly time was had by all. When all the bees were sleeping off their sugar bender the bee man snuck up, took the box and disappeared into the night, and was never seen again. Some believe that he knew so much about bees as he was actually a flock of bees taped together, using some sort of pulley system and intense paper mache skills.
The End.
(Picture supplied by the very generous Emily McIver)
15 comments on “Once upon a Time”
Mr Bee the Bee Man? He did an un-bee-lievable job. Well done him.
Prongs.
Ding! There’s one for the photo album! (what?)
It’s nice that you picked up on the subtle message hidden within that post.
Prongs.
Can I ask what sort of dib-dabs the man puts inside computers? Is it sherbet ones? Were they the ones with a sort of lolly stick that you could dip into two pockets of sherbety goodness?
Prongs.
If you want to make your computer sweet then you need the sherbet dib dabs. Sometimes you can opt for sticky dib dabs or you can dab a few sour notes in there. That’s how computers work.
Prongs.
I heard that a wireless abbab could speed up my machine, is that right? Presumably the abbab is closely related to the dibdab.
The abbab is a kind of dibdab that is carefully imported from the middle east. They add a sense of umami to a computer system.
Can we get some prongs over here, would that help?
Is the sense of umami why Armani got into that abbab collab?
Prongs.
Are we still talking about computers? It looks as though you’re discussing sushi.
Prongs.
There’s nothing sushi about Kev’s Arabian dibdabs. His double dip dibdab is the tiptop laptop prop.
… what?
Also Prongs.
Exactly. That’s how you know I’m right.
Megaprongs.
There’s not enough posts for me to question this logic so I’m going to agree for once.
Super Spatch(ula) vs Mega Prongs.
You know I’m right. Kev’s double dip dibdab gives every Arab the screaming habdabs, and only a fool would argue with that.
Ultraprongs.
… what?
Whatever Kevin is dib-dabbing I don’t want to know. He can keep his perverted activities to himself.
The Legend of Increda-Prong: Hero for all Seasons!