Do you like jams?
Do you like plums?
Do you like plummy jams? Then we’ve got the product for you!
‘KEV’S PLUM PRESERVE’ is a brand new treat that you and your family can enjoy all day, every day. We’ve taken the sweet, tempting taste of jam and slathered that (using a spoon) all over the best kind of fruit you can imagine, plums!
Spread it on parsnips, spread it on shepherd’s pie. Spread it on Bird’s Eye Potato Waffles, frozen pineapple chunks or a spicy and fragrant Nepalese Kukhurko Masu curry. You can even spread it on your hands.
Put a party on your tastebuds. Slam your plums on the table. Bring your miserable life to life with ‘KEV’S PLUM PRESERVE’!
(From Kev Inc., a subsidiary of Kevindo Menendez Food Conglomerate Holdings Plc).
6 comments on “Pump up the jam (in your face)”
There’s something very familiar about all of this.
That’s probably because you’re familiar with both plums and jams. That familiarity will usher you through the door into this thrilling new culinary world.
Yes…. yes that must be it. I’m mixing two very different memories into the same one. I do love jam and I do love plums.
The best thing to do, in that case, is to follow the advice in this post. Slam your plums on the table – it’s very clear about that – and then to take your mind off the pain have a nice bit of jam.
I’ve got to… slam them? Slam my plums? Did it say that?
*reads it back*
Oh there it is, sorry, I missed that part. So should I get a run up before the slamming or is that against the plum slamming rules?
Do whatever works for you, as long as it gets the job done. I’m not one to quibble over plum slams.