I have recently been tidying up and I found some of my old writing pads. I had kept them because I was convinced they contained so much gold, so many beautiful ideas that the thought of throwing them away was absolutely idiotic and so I put them somewhere safe all these years. What the sensible part of me should have done is actually opened them up and read what was inside because, damn, they were chocked full of rubbish. Utter bollocks. There were half-finished poems not good enough for a GCSE English class, lists of songs and budgets for months long since gone. Do I need to remember how much I set aside for my phone bill in 2009? No sir, I do not.
I did, however, come across a series of cartoons and sketches that I had done. They started off with Mr Cloudy Misdemeanour, a particularly miserable misanthropic so and so, and ended with an un-printed and mostly incomprehensible comic strip called ‘Nigel Doesn’t Want to Kill Any Vampires’. The real “gem” if you can call it that is a one-off about a pig who… is fighting a war against some ice cream cones?
Don’t look at me like that; 2008 Ian was clearly working on another level, one which I have long since left or possibly ascended from into something just as depraved but slightly more serene. Nonetheless, here is the priceless ‘Smokin’ Jo Cool’:
14 comments on “Smokin’ Jo Cool”
I like this a lot. I like how it appears to be a comic about some pig called Smokin’ Joe Cool. but what it’s actually about is the narrator’s guilt about not fighting organised crime in his city.
But my favourite thing is the panel that just says BUBBERVILLE!
I can also now see a correlation between my own and Reuben’s drawings, in that we both like drawing pigs.
Yes, the guilt is very prevalent, I expect that was supposed to be the main “joke”.
Yes, I think it was supposed to be the main “joke” too, but I did like it. I also like the way Smokin’ Joe Cool carries his heavy loads around. It looks hugely painful.
He is a pig of the people, person pig. He is a hard-working, cool dude. If you need heavy boxes moving then he’s your pig.
If I just have boxes to move I might hire some sort of man and van combo. But if I have boxes to move, and part of the job is that whoever moves them must risk a slipped disc, I’ll get straight on the phone to Smokin’ Joe Cool.
He’s slipped so many discs that he’s the slippin’ disc pig!
That’s not true. He’s been in hospital a lot of it due to the heavy lifting and the poor health benefits from being self-employed. He’s lost a LOT of income this year.
Maybe he should invest some of his remaining funds on attending a manual handling course.
Nah, that’s a waste of money mate. All he needs to do is remember to bend with his legs and not with his back. See, I saved him *checks* £6.25? Jeez maybe I should take a manual handling course. If they give me an award I can put it with my drama certificates.
I seem to remember you have three (THREE) drama certificates.
This seems like a very appropriate time to say: well done, mate.
Thanks mate. With that manual handling pig certificate I’ll be up to four. I’ll be struggling for space on the front of the fridge!
Get yourself a bigger fridge, that’s my advice. You’re worth it.
I’ll need some sort of manual handler in order to move the fridge in though. What a conundrum.
Do you have a lot of manuals that need handling?
I’ve got stacks of them, towers of manuals. I’ve got so many manuals they call me ‘Manuel’ down at the manual shop.