I was the victim of a crime, a crime that mostly goes unnoticed.
As I returned the trolley to the bay in Asda car park I was greeted by the following sight:
Was this dog doing anything wrong? Not really, he was protecting the car until his owner came back.
Was I doing anything wrong? No, because I was returning the trolley to where it belonged.
So why did the dog look at me as though I HAD done something wrong? Where was the justification for the judgement in his eyes?
I did test this by clocking him on the way past the first time and walking slower on the way back. His eyes burrowed deep into mine, never flinching, never blinking. It was the longest five seconds of my life I’d ever experienced in a car park.
There was the chance that I looked like someone else or perhaps he was hoping I’d open the door and set him free.
Or maybe, just maybe, he was hoping I’d come a little closer so he could bark the fuck out.
I’ll never know what I did to that dog and, quite frankly, I don’t think I want to know.
18 comments on “Stationary Harassment”
That dog looks like he knew you in a past life and still has revenge on his mind.
That dog looks like he wouldn’t hesitate to piss on me as I struggled to escape from under a heavy boulder.
That dog looks like Timothy Dalton’s occasionally violent next door neighbour.
That dog looks like a owl mad with rage that a mouse has just flipped him the V’s and disappeared into his burrow.
That dog looks like he should be sitting at a table, playing cards with himself, gently stabbing a gerbil with a fork.
That dog looks like he was possessed by evil spirits while in a wind tunnel.
That dog looks like a young Will Smith.
That dog looks like he’s just heard you saying something about his favourite Care Bear.
That dog looks like he’s keen, or maybe he’s keener than Keane.
I’ve seen Keane, but I haven’t seen Keane keen, so I wouldn’t know.
That dog looks like he’s seeing terrible things in front of him but he can hear terrible things behind him.
That dog looks like he’s a crisis waiting to happen.
That dog looks like he wants to be in China Crisis but it’s never going to happen.
That dog looks like you dropped his chinagraph pencil and broke the lead all the way up.
That dog looks like you blow-dried his fur wrong and now it won’t go flat.
That dog looks like you took a shat in his hat and handed it back.
That dog looks like you just closed his word document without saving it.
That dog looks like you hit his car with your car door and didn’t even look to see if there was any damage.
That dog looks like you didn’t call his sister back after the first date.