It started with a casual remark in a conversation and, as always, it leads to stuff you didn’t know you wanted arriving in the post.
I’m talking of course about sugar cubes. Who knew they were still a thing?
I for one thought that they had been relegated to the winds of time by things like good hygiene practices and little paper packets, but how wrong I was. Imagine my ‘delight’ as two whole boxes of the things arrived at my door, accompanied by the now customary ring of the doorbell by the postman too lazy to actually push things through the previously acceptable flap.
I believe Chris’ package arrived first, in what can only be described as ‘inadequate’ packaging, (a plastic postage bag) looking mostly like a box of sugar, with some cubes left in it. Ian’s exotic brown sugar came next wrapped nicely in bubble wrap and in a box. (I’m assuming it was Ian as it was addressed to Kevin ‘Sweet San Hose’ Hill).
When I explained the arrival of these to Sarah, she declared that Ian was the winner as she used to sneak eat the brown sugar cubes at ‘Auntie’ Betty’s house when she was little.
following on from this, anyone who ‘pops round for a cuppa’ should now expect to find tea served on an overly flowery tray, with a little bowl of mixed sugar cubes ready and waiting.
Not that anyone puts sugar in tea these days.
16 comments on “Sugar Lumps”
My favourite thing about this is that you used Ian’s favourite “Pic-Collage” thing to make your picture collage. Excellent.
Stylish lumps, Kevin’s stylish lady lumps.
The great thing about this is that Kev is now well placed to lure horses to his back fence if he sees some on that weirdly smooth hill behind his back garden. Changlet will enjoy that.
Changlet would love that, but he is also scared shitless when they get up close. (as am I if I’m honest). Feeding them old carrots at arms length is about my limit, I’m not sure I’m up for the close contact feeding sugar lumps would entail.
What you need is the Christopher Marshall School of Horse Feeding and Fuckery, due to open this summer pending BOVONA Virus regulations. They can teach you how to feed horses, what to talk to them about and what drinks they prefer from the cabinet.
Sounds good, I’ll get myself on the waiting list.
All the fuckery at the CMSHFF is carried out on genuine Windows Mobile hardware, so you can tell it’s a quality establishment.
Frank Fuckles would flock cockles to feed foals and moseley shoals (what?) at your horse school.
Moseley Shoals? Was that an album by Ocean Colour Scene? That’s some niche rhyming action. I enjoyed it.
It was, congrats you get 25 points for your musical prowess.
Liquid lyrical poetry, man.
Now we just need to work out what flocking cockles involves. Presumably Mr. Fuckles is attempting to cover them in a layer of soft velour-like fur.
All I know is that a cockle flocker sounds absolutely filthy.
Right up Frank Fuckles’s street, then.
Kev can now sing ‘My Humps’ by Black Eyed Peas but change the lyrics to sugar lumps to make it extra classy. What a boon that is.
I expect he does that whenever he’s making tea now, as he loads up his mug with sugar cubes. I heard that since he received his bumper supply of sugar cubes he basically fills his mug with a whole pyramid of them.
He’ll have type 2 diabetes by the end of the month but hey, it’ll be worth it.