You know, we don’t give ourselves enough credit. Here we are, each month, slaving away over a hot laptop in the hope of raising a chuckle here and there. We are creating nostalgia. This is a body of work that most people can only dream of. What a load of THINGS we carry on doing. How many humans do you know that can boast about a website, a series of podcasts, half a dozen award-winning albums, a web comic, two children’s book series and more booklets of nonsense than a weekend with Vic Reeves’ eyebrows?
Take a break from all that work. Let’s commend someone who needs commending. Let us chuck out a couple of accolades every now and then to really salute the best of the best. There are award ceremonies for practically everything these days so pull up a chair and we can take a look. This month it is quite clear who the award should go to and that person is…
KEVIN!
Congratulations Kevin, you win the ‘There was an Attempt’ award for effort. Having been nosin’ around the website in the back, I could see that a post was started and there was some interesting content. I only wish that you had the time in order to complete it as it would have made a fascinating read. As it happens, I am sure that eventually it will join the ranks of other fully-fledged posts and take it’s place amongst the greatest. Let’s gaze upon this marvel:
“How they find us: 2019
gghgdfghdfghdfghdfgh ddfgd ;lfkdgjh ;dflgkjh ;fdglkhj ldfkjgh df;lkj; lskfgj;hdflgkhjfd; ghlkjd f;glhkj d;lkfgj h;lkdjs;ldfkjg l;kj s;lkdfj goaijkfgdfn; gjklh;slkj ;slfkdgj ;sldfkjg ;slkdfjg ;slkfdjg ;slkjfd g
hdfgh
dfgh
dfg
hdfg
hdfg
hdfghdfgh”
Verbatim. Wonderful. It’s a thing of beauty. It needs its own stunning vista and inspirational poster. Although it may sound like the noises you hear in the toilet cubicle next you in the gents, it’s sheer poetry.
Well done Kev and keep up the good work, all of you! Next month you could be in line for something special.
22 comments on “The Award for Effort – August”
Are you implying that the post isn’t complete? I just forgot to hit submit.
I want to believe you but I don’t. Soz. Show me some proof and I shall reconsider the position.
Is that enough proof?
What, that sentence? No of course it’s not. What a silly thing to say.
Can I ask how long it was between Kev starting that post and saving it to drafts, and it appearing in its glorious published state on the site?
I expect my “critique” may have spurred him on. At least a month and a bit I reckon.
I’ve had a furtle in the basement of the website, with my furtling stick, and a close examination of Kev’s post suggests that he created it on 16 May. At that time he just wrote the title, “How they find us: 2019”, and left it at that. On 16 July, he was feeling creative again after eight weeks off, and added all the other letters and punctuation marks.
The publication date of 22 August makes it more than three months in the making, and to be honest, it shows. You don’t get quality like that by rushing something out.
Three months, wow. That quick?
He doesn’t mess about. Most of my posts on here are brewing steadily over the course of seven or eight months, but Kev cracks them out in as little as eleven weeks sometimes.
Eleven weeks is practically 77 days. No wait, it IS 77 days.
I couldn’t even bake a quiche in that amount of time. Good on him.
How about a gluten-free pie, could you bake one of those in 77 days?
Nah mate, nah. I’d have the pie tray greased up and maybe the pastry on the go but there’d be no filling. A nen-filled pie is good for no-one.
You’re right, that’s a disaster. OK: turn the oven off then, and I’ll just have a sandwich. Have you got any nice cheese in? I’ll have cheese, unless there’s some decent ham in the fridge.
I could throw whatever is in the fridge into the pie. Can you have a cheese pie? Is that a thing?
I could do a cheese and pickle pie.
No, I don’t want a random fridge pie. The last one of those you made had celery and Petit Filou in it, and that was after waiting way more than 77 days.
If there’s cheese and pickle I’ll have that in my sandwich, and maybe a bag of crisps if you have one.
Sure. Can I interest you in anything from the sweet aisle? Iris made a dozen muffins this morning and they taste like the Peak District.
Have you got any Colchester Slices left? If they have a decent layer of watermelon compote in them I’ll have one of those. Maybe with a drizzle of cream.
You can only have cream in Creamtober and you want nix to do with it. Nix I say!
I should have plenty of Colchester Slices down in the kitchen. Let me float out the flange tray and see what comes back.
No. NO. Creamtober is not happening.
That’s what you think. Come the beginning of next month we shall see what happens, Sunny Jim Bob Lad Son Child Man Lad.
We shall indeed see what happens. I for one am looking forward to discovering it not being Creamtober.
(Pretty sure I’ve just handed you a blog post for next month.)
Maybe…