Anyone can write an article about “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Owls”, in fact you’re probably bored stiff of reading them they’re so common these days. You can hardly visit your favourite corner of the web without having five different variations of “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Owls” rammed down your vision pipes, well not here…

Here on PouringBeans™ we like to do things differently. This is no ordinary “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Owls” article, this one is special, this one is “Things You Didn’t Know About 10 Owls”!!!

Lets get straight to it…

 

Owl 1

Name: Keith

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 1: He likes to think of himself as the leader of the group, in fact the rest of the owls hate the sight of his smug face and cant wait for him to mistakenly fly into a window.

Owl 2

Name: Maureen

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 2: Maureen is the long suffering wife of Keith. Maureen hates her life and wishes she were an Eagle, soaring above the plains of Africa.

Owl 3

Name: Sydney

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 3: Sydney keeps all of the bones he coughs up in his little owl pellets and uses them to create grim puppet shows re-enacting the final moments of Hitler’s life in the bunker.

Owl 4

Name: David

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 4: David fell out of the nest when he was a chick, and is now convinced he’s a T-Rex

Owl 5

Name: Balthazar

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 5: Balthazar is the oldest owl in Leeds and is looked up to as a kind of ‘wise old owl’. In reality he failed his 11+ and gets all of his facts from Twitter.

Owl 6

Name: Cheryl

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 6: The rebel of the group. She likes dive bombing walkers in the Yorkshire Dales, and once starred in an owl adult movie as a nurse.

Owl 7

Name: Frank

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 7: Frank is a miserable bastard. No one likes Frank.

Owl 8

Name: Craig

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 8: Craig is an explorer. Craig was the owl who first discovered the wonders that can be found if you break into the bins behind Greggs on a Saturday evening. Craig also has more injuries than any other living owl due to his passion for base jumping, a sport he is quite terrible at owing to the fact he doesn’t own a parachute.

Owl 9

Name: Liza

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 9: Liza dreams of becoming a star and has an unshakable belief in her singing voice. She has written to Simon Cowell 37 times asking him to allow owls to audition for X Factor.

Owl 10

Name: Malcolm

Thing you didn’t know about Owl 10: Malcolm is an accountant, and has developed a special calculator designed for beak inputs. He enjoys wearing womens’ underwear.

 

So there you have it. Now you know.