Avatar Why not indeed?

Well, let me tell you. What you’re really asking there is three questions. Firstly, why don’t I use trains more? Secondly, why didn’t you ask me sooner? Thirdly, what kind of lunch is the best lunch?

I only wish that I could use the train more because it provided fast and easy travel when I was mooching about in my 20s and 30s, especially when Reuben and I had the benefit of the family railcard. I’m currently trying to buy train tickets to London for a gig in November and they’re still not available when usually they’re released some months in advance. This doesn’t feel like they’re taking my mini-break very seriously and I for one will be sure to ram it up their junction should I get the chance!

You should have asked me sooner. I am always considering going to Leeds and very rarely get the chance to do so. Oh, you know what it’s like. Things get in the way and before you know it, there’s weeds to be plucked, cobwebs to be dusted or shopping to be done. Last night I insisted on putting time aside to press my trousers yet after doing the washing up, cleaning the kitchen and going out for a three mile run, it was after 11pm and there’s no chance of me using anything where there’s a risk of scalding myself when the light isn’t great and I have work in the morning. It’s just not happening.

The best kind of lunch is a hot lunch, one that’s dispensed from a lunch hatch with lots of meat and potatoes. They come in all different kinds these days. When I were a lad, you only got three kinds of meat: turkey (at Christmas), chicken (usually from the freezer, have you ever sucked a chicken?) and ham (full of water and slimy like a frog). All of this lamb ostrich alligator kangaroo burger nonsense is miles away from what I would consider to be a decent meal. If you can’t get a video… wait, that’s wrong. If you can’t get a hot lunch, a sandwich is a perfectly acceptable alternative providing you also have a bag of crisps and a drink to go along with it, and something sweet for afterwards. It seems as though most meal “deals” these days (if you can call them that) aren’t deals because for more money they give you less food and I’m not happy about that.

You meant Leeds Castle, right?

(Ian practising at being a rambling old codger).

9 comments on “Why not indeed?

  • The lunch was Leeds. It was much too big and contained the best part of a million people. And it was cold. My conclusion is that Leeds is not the best lunch.

    In other news, lunch is probably my least favourite meal of the day.

  • You prefer breakfast to lunch? I think the former is far too limited and while it tries its best, such as expanding into broader terms (see “brunch”), it can never quite reach the dizzy heights of its midday counterpart.

  • Sometimes a cheeky decadent lunch* can be exciting, but that’s generally because you’re eating dinner* food at the wrong time… and it’ll just make you sleepy in the afternoon anyway.

    * Southern terms for dinner and tea have been adopted above so that Chis knows what I’m on about.

  • Chis is going to feel so included.

    I disagree about all the slander that has been thrown at breakfast. And in any case, as a man who only recently made the breakfast journey from gra-no-la to gra-yes-la, you probably haven’t yet witnessed the full, glorious range of breakfast possibilities.

  • Next time I see Chis in the pub I’ll let him know. He’ll be thrilled he got a mention.

    He doesn’t know, does he? The breakfast wonders that await him. Maybe they await me too? I’m excited and confused just thinking about it.

  • The main wonders of breakfastland are meaty and generally fried. The real shame is that they’ve broken out into lunchtimeland as well, so it’s allowed bland crap like porridge and muesli to get a foothold.

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