Archive for September, 2011
Yeah. It’s very modern to put your hand up and tell everyone what’s wrong with you, in fact it’s downright encouraged in an office because it gives everyone something to talk about in-between the dull emptiness of everything else.
I unfortunately don’t have a very interesting addiction. At the moment I cannot help but scour amazon.co.uk for cheap cds. Not that I ever have any time to spin the damn things, which is what doesn’t make sense. Why go to the trouble and expense of searching for and buying the things when I never seem to have any time to listen to music? My I-Pod has about as much space as a seedy garage so no luck there. I’m even considering buying a personal CD player (like everyone had in 1997) however the last one, as well as me being a bit cack-handed with the discs themselves, seemed to scratch everything I put into it.
I should probably give in and download it. I don’t want to though; I like the swathes of CDs lining my shelves, well I would if I had shelves. They’re all currently jammed behind books and that because I decided to move things around in my room recently. So if I had shelves, long shelves, I would lovingly stare at them for hours and hours.
Honestly I would.
P.S. This post started off as something completely different.
September 12th, 2011
I have recently been thinking about how about films are and how they are given sequels to make more money rather than to continue the story. Which is a bit of a shame, for the best trilogies and quadrilogies are ages old now such as Back to the Future, Die Hard (bar Die Hard 4, for the sheer pomposity), the original Star Wars and the Lord of the Rings. What we need is a new idea to bring a new trilogy to the masses, one that’s made for practically nothing and will easily bring in a cool mil or so.
Fast forward to my idea. Three films to encapsulate the feelings and frustrations of the 21st century. Films that you can identify with, that you can sit down and watch for hours on end. Films that make you think and feel and hate and love in equal measures.
Fast forward to my idea then. Three films: Sitting, Walking and Running.
The first film takes into account how backwards-thinking society is and how old ideas are recycled rather than brand new ones being created. It’d be three hours of a woman sat on a chair.
The second film shows how gradually people are moving into the future but not at the kind of pace that they should be, how meandering life can be, how people get caught up on the little things that they fail to see the big picture. It’d be three hours of a woman walking along a street.
In the final thrilling film we look at how success can easily lead into failure, how people never stop to think about what they’re saying or doing and jump in with both feet first and to hell with the consequences. The result would be a first for the film industry; three hours of a woman running along the street.
I await my Oscars in the post.
September 8th, 2011
Over the weekend myself and my counterpart, Mr Professor R of R & R, were researching some matters of interest and came across this rather striking article from 1951 concerning the Yetiferous Cornicopious or Yeti as they are now commonly referred to as.
The Common Yeti
Following the astounding discovery of the skeleton at Ford’s Nook in 1947, the intrepid explorer, Mr Julip Juanoto, has added further to the mystery of the yeti by displaying several of his findings in an exhibition at the Cake Stand in New York. Not only do most of his theories contradict everything that has been seen so far but they take the idea of the yeti and yetis into a completely different direction.
“I no longer want people to refer to them as abominable snowmen because that is a horrible and unfortunately name to have,” explained Mr Juanoto, “it is also entirely incorrect as the yeti is neither made of snow nor a man. The yeti is a construct comprised of wood.”
Yes. The yeti is apparently entirely made of wood.
Mr Juanoto has offered many drawings but not much conclusive evidence to support his statements. His main focus of attention is that nobody has ever really seen the yeti because they are very good at hiding themselves in the forests and woodland areas. All they need to do is stand next to a tree to conceal them and the naked eye can no longer locate them. This then would mean that the skeleton from Ford’s Nook was a fake, if the theory can be proved.
“It is completely codswallop,” demands Thelonius Arkender, who claims to have been chased by a yeti in 1946, “the one that was baying for my blood was at least seven feet tall and covered in woolly fur, like wool. There was no way that sucker was made of wood. If there was only the chance of getting splinters in my mitts then I would have turned and fought the monster. As it happens he had more teeth like the local choir and there was no way I was going to choke at the age of 37.”
So then we will have to leave it to the realm of the imagination, or some hard evidence, to decide which is true.
September 5th, 2011
September 1st, 2011
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