A colleague at work today has made the following comment,
“You’d make a great doorman Ian.”
Not, “thanks for holding the door Ian,” or “you’re such a gentleman Ian,” no no, it’s much better to say that I’m only good for holding open doors for other people.
So I’d like to ask what kind of profession YOU (as in you) think I (as in me) SHOULD be doing 🙂
12 comments March 1st, 2007
Nee neh neh nuh, nun nun nun nuh
Nee neh neh nuh, nun nun nun nuh
Nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuh
Nee neh neh nuh, nun nun nun nuh (and so on…)
11 comments February 11th, 2007
In preparation for ‘Silly Bint of the Month’ I decided to type ‘Silly Bint’ into Google image search and this is what came out. Thing is he doesn’t look silly or bintish which makes me wonder why he appeared in the first place. It’s a mystery…
Do we have any nominations? After reading the Metro this morning I think a strong candidate would be Paris Hilton who managed to run out of petrol for her car THREE times in the same day. What a woofer!
5 comments January 8th, 2007
Can I get a high five? Any takes my hand is raised
*raises his hand*
OH YEAH!
3 comments January 8th, 2007
It’s half past one and you’re listening to Mack Mackford on the graveyard slot of Mack FM. I’ll be here for the next two hours or so entertaining you with the best late night jazz, rock and anything else that takes my fancy.
The New Year has just taken effect so no doubt people will either be passed out, sheltering from the wild winds or just generally sleeping given the time. I can’t sleep, or at least that’s the impression I’m giving when really I’m forcing myself to stay awake 🙂 it happens. Here’s a little number from CCR kicking us off with ‘Bad Moon Rising’. Take it away…
*TWANGY*
4 comments January 1st, 2007
Kev, two things really. One, where’s the box for the Mackford Files three and four? I’m pretty sure I sent them with he dictaphone 🙂 secondly who on earth are you describing here:
“The only thing she ever did was sit in the back of an army truck and let her hair get set on fire by some motorbike in some bizarre military tattoo thing!”
The mind boggles.
2 comments December 30th, 2006
I’ve just been passed an intiguing thing to make you think. Gwen has suggested that Yoda as a benefit cheat. Why? Because in the second film he’s running around like a maniac during that light saber battle and then fast forward to the fifth in the swamp and he’s shuffling like he’s done ten rounds with Tyson. Clearly instead of hiding from Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader so he didn’t get killed like the rest of the jedis at the end of ‘Revenge of the Sith’ he is hoping the government don’t find his ass and load him with several years of back payments.
Think about it 😀
6 comments November 29th, 2006
In most states of the United States it is illegal to keep raccoons as pets. Other states allow the practice, but require exotic pet permits. Young orphan raccoons and raccoons acquired from reputable breeders may make suitable pets; however, raccoons are not domesticated animals. Training raccoons is an intensive and ongoing process, and captive raccoons may retain destructive or aggressive natural behaviors, such as biting. Some douse their food in or defecate into the water dishes of other pets. Although nocturnal, captive raccoons can be trained to sleep at night and to be active during the day.
Captive raccoons can develop obesity and other disorders due to unnatural diet and lack of exercise; furthermore, many veterinarians will not treat raccoons. Raccoons raised in captivity and released do not adapt well to life outside.
6 comments November 21st, 2006
Date: 14th November 2006
Time: 12:30
Location: The Baltic, Gateshead (give or take)
Given the circumstances of the last “visit” and the sting operation that was put in place I decided to bring in more muscle in case things for sticky. Enter Weddle! We pretended to look at some of the exhibits and then when the coast was clear I made a dash for the locker, chucked in a chocolate biscuit in a foil wrapper (as I wasn’t in possession fo anything else) and walked out as though nothing was wrong. This time there were no security thugs or bints on chairs. It was plain sailing baby! Just a shame I didn’t have any of Mackshall’s tat to put in but don’t worry Christa will find her place there I assure you.
6 comments November 14th, 2006
Taken from the Metro yesterday:
“A PANDA is to get sex education classes at a Thai zoo. Chuang Chuang, a six-year-old male, will be shown ‘panda porn’ to try to get him to breed with Lin Hui. ‘They don’t know how to mate, so we need to show him how,’ a spokesman said.”
Priceless!
2 comments November 14th, 2006