Archive for April, 2011
Nestle were kind enough to respond to my mutterings about Shreddies:
Dear Mr McIver,
Thank you for your letter regarding Nestle Shreddies breakfast cereal.
I am pleased to learn how much you are enjoying this product and it was good of you to take the time to contact us.
As the manufacturer of many popular breakfast cereal products, we are aware of the need to ensure high standards are met and comments from our customers are a vital aid to maintain these standards.
Consumer feedback is important to us and I will ensure that your comments are forwarded onto our Marketing Team for their reference. Please accept the enclosed vouchers (three £1.00 off my next purchase vouchers!), with my compliments, and I hope this cereal will be as popular with you in the future as it is at present.
If you would like one of my vouchers please say so. It’s kind of fitting that there’s three of us and three vouchers. Easy maths, one might say.
April 19th, 2011
Dear Shreddies / Nestle,
I am very, very, very fond of Shreddies. If I could I would probably eat Shreddies three times a day because they taste amazing. As a child I can remember sitting idly watching television and eating huge bowls of Shreddies; as an adult things haven’t changed much. I have had to cut down to one or two bowls a day because I’m told by my doctor I’m supposed to have a varied diet and even though there’s a ton of great stuff in Shreddies and milk I need other things too like vegetables and fruit. Have you seen how much sugar is in fruit though? Have you tasted celery? Fruit is dead expensive too, whereas a box and Shreddies will last me just about a full week for a small sum.
You needn’t be concerned though; every box of Shreddies I buy I always recycle the cardboard. Sometimes I have a dream where I’ve eaten so many boxes of Shreddies that I leave them in the back garden and when I look out of the window there’s just a massive pile, so big I can’t open the door. Then the police come round and it’s get a little complicated; I won’t go into those details, it is just a recurring dream after all.
I was considering writing a poem about how great Shreddies are but I didn’t think it would work very well. Not a lot of words rhyme with Shreddies apart from ‘teddies’, ‘readies’ and ‘steadies’. Can you be best man at a Weddies? Can you get a horrible pain in your Headies? I don’t think so. Needless to say though I’m sure a much better person can come up with a much better poem to relay my admiration for your brilliant cereal.
Kind Regards
Ian McIver
April 8th, 2011
I know I know, another one so soon after the last one. Usually I don’t remember dreams however recently they seem to be coming in and invading my thoughts when I wake up. This particular dream is relatively short. I could couple it with the other bizarre one I had at the start of the week in a Logical Dreamscape double bill. I could but I won’t:
I open my eyes and I’m in a queue waiting to see My Morning Jacket. I’ve waited ages to get in so the mood of the people stood with me are exciteable to say the least. When the doors are flung open we politely rush in and take our seats and that’s when I get a little suspicious. Rather than being a huge arena or stage it’s a tiny room that looks as though it’s used for church proceedings, and we’re all sat on those plastic chairs you had at school. Everyone else doesn’t notice. The room fills up quickly and someone appears at the front.
The man looks like the singing guy from the Lighthouse Family albeit without the suit, and he doesn’t do any singing. He instead pulls out a watermelon and taps on it. A faint rain then falls from the ceiling. The crowd claps and cheers at this; I stare on in disbelief.
So what does it all mean?!?
April 7th, 2011