New Year, New Stock
January 6th, 2011
So you’re living in a chilly wasteland of a VAT increase coupled with a lack of funds because you’re stretching your money over some horrific five week period because they paid you early for Christmas which, at the time, seemed like a good idea but then again it always does because your pay overlaps with the previous months and you look like you have several more clams than you really do.
It might be that way, or on the other hand you might not.
If you sit firmly in the latter camp then what you need are SEVERAL of the NEW lines of Smoochies Inc MERCHANDISE about to HIT the FLOOR. Not only have they disregarded the global economic collapse but they have upped their prices too. How do you like them apples? Welcome to the money-spinning ‘Out Of This World’ collection of tat.
Do you have one of those inconsiderate friends who has “everything”? Shove one of these in their gobs. With the ‘Moon on a Stick’ lollipop you can have a pop at their expense as well as silence. The ‘MoaS’ lollipop is designed to occupy the entirety of the mouthal region to ensure no noise can escape through into your ear holes.
Stuck on what to get the kids when they next freak out? Buy the new and exciting board game ‘Around The Houses’. What starts off as a simple trip to the shops suddenly turns into a long and lengthy journey as roadworks, traffic jams and pensioners stand in your way of getting back home. With six amazing levels of play you will marvel at how much you were shafted on the price.
For tiny children why not opt for our ‘Bells and Whistles’ campaign which is seeking to supply every small person in the United Kingdom with either a bell or a whistle. Children should be heard, very very loudly.
Turn to page 799 in your Smoochies Inc catalogue for more information.