New: Opti-Rotissomat
March 19th, 2007
CII Ltd is proud to announce the release of its latest consumer innovation, the Opti-Rotissomat. Industry experts predict that by the end of 2007 no home will be complete without a CII Ltd Opti-Rotissomat and that they will be compulsory in most Western states by early 2009.
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The CII Ltd Opti-Rotissomat is unique among other electro-static rotary appliance solutions, because it features a twin-cycle PSU permitting it to be used with both 240V and 115V power supplies.
Its stylish grey rubber oscillaturner is comfort-moulded and is spring mounted on the titanium camshaft, giving you the ultimate in feel and texture while using the device. It will not slip or grate in wet weather conditions like many other belt-driven competitors.
The Opti-Rotissomat comes in three colours – amber, puce and leopardskin – and for a limited time only comes with a free suede carry-case. Order now to receive yours in time for Lent!
The Opti-Rotissomat is manufactured by Rotoscope Investments Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of CII Ltd’s Spearmint Division.
Entry Filed under: Chris,Chris Industries,Uncategorized
16 Comments
1. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 19th, 2007 at 21:22
…what? Seriously… what the fuck? Do you have nothing else to do now that you’re living in loon-tag?
2. Kevil | March 20th, 2007 at 10:10
GO AWAY!
3. Chris | March 20th, 2007 at 11:22
No, I have nothing else to do! Even at work my days are half-filled with big gaps so I can plague you with the outpourings of my mind-brain! Hahahahahaha! Etc.
By the way, if you want one of these, I can get you one cheap…
4. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 21st, 2007 at 08:05
Really? How cheap are we talking? I need one to replace my previous Circum-Swirly 2000. The gap-shaft blew a big one and the spatchcocks left for delta one.
5. Chris | March 21st, 2007 at 14:40
The gap-shaft is usually a weakness on aluminium models. The CII Opti-Rotissomat is specially engineered with a forged spatchcock to prevent that, though between you and me, you’ll probably find yourself getting a new rubber sheathing after about a year of heavy use.
All the same – I have a few factory spares – say £42 each?
6. Kevil | March 21st, 2007 at 15:27
Can you get them in a variety of colours?
7. Chris | March 21st, 2007 at 16:11
If you cared to read the press release, you’d see they come in amber, puce and leopardskin as well as original grey.
8. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 22nd, 2007 at 09:54
Print is dead. Everyone knows that.
9. Kevil | March 22nd, 2007 at 11:39
But I wanted a blue one.
10. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 22nd, 2007 at 13:42
did You NOt HEAR THE MAN?!?!?
NO FRIGGIN BLUE!!!
11. Chris | March 22nd, 2007 at 13:49
Our focus groups suggested that blue would not be a popular choice.
We do, however, have plans for limited-edition Ready Salted editions.
12. Kevil | March 22nd, 2007 at 14:13
Pah! I shall take my custom elsewhere.
13. Chris | March 23rd, 2007 at 11:00
Cheese and Onion?
14. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 23rd, 2007 at 13:33
The Tanners pub on tuesday didn’t have Cheese and Onion – they only had Cheese and Chive! Cheese and fucking Chive! WTF?!?
15. Chris | March 23rd, 2007 at 16:10
This is why you should never buy groceries from pubs.
16. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver | March 26th, 2007 at 07:38
I once bought a grimble from a pub. It cost twenty limeys! I couldn’t believe my socketpops.