Sillius Bintus of the Monthus AD 79 – Vivaldi Conosucus

April 28th, 2008

It’s time to look back now at some of the silly bints from past gone days of old. Today’s history lesson comes courtsy of a man who was once named ‘Italy’s most well dressed hick’ Mr Vivaldi Conosucus.

Time has over shadowed his important in one of the great disasters of the then modern and now old times. Many think that when Mount Vesuvius erupted it was because it wanted to. Recent findings have come across an altogether different account. Apparently Mr Conosucus was having a picnic at the very peak of the volcano by himself because his sister, Henrietta, was off having a song written by the Fratellis about her. He was in the middle of a packet of custard creams when a moistened chipmunk popped up from the ground, frightening the young man and consequently knocking a cucumber into the heated vat of doom. And doom it was, for minutes later the volcano burst forth with hot, lava juices, destroying the nearby cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum and knocking over a lemonade stand.

Vivaldi escaped by the skin of his teeth by selling it to a old man in exchange for a pair of wings. He was last seen trying to invent a dance using only his trousers.

Entry Filed under: Silly Bint of the Month