The Apprentice

May 1st, 2008

Now, I love this programme and McIver doesn’t.  He watches it under duress.  But last nights was a classic.  The teams had to devise 2 new occasions for which to sell greetings cards.  One bunch of numpties chose “Happy Singles Day” which was to run on 13th February.  The day before Valentine’s Day, when the shops are full of slushy shit (I say this, as I never get one, being single).  The other bunch of fuckwits chose a card to encourage you to save the environment.  I kid you not.  “Let’s save the environment – how can we do that?”  “I know, send a card to everybody we know telling them to save the environment”.  “Great idea”.  These people, my dear friends, are future captains of industry.  No doubt they will be elevated to top jobs at Northern Rock.  Car crash TV, but I am addicted.   There’s a bit of snobbery about watching the Apprentice.  It’s Big Brother, suited and booted.

Entry Filed under: Loins

25 Comments

  • 1. Kevil  |  May 1st, 2008 at 12:32

    That sounds like a great idea… I know, we’ll encourage people to save the environment by creating a day where people send thousands of cards made form CHOPPED DOWN TREES. Fuckwits.

  • 2. Chris  |  May 1st, 2008 at 23:15

    *stands up*

    Hello. My name is Chris and I am an Apprentice addict. Thank you.

    *sits down to a smattering of applause*

    (Though I haven’t watched this week’s yet so don’t spoil it for me)

  • 3. Auds  |  May 2nd, 2008 at 08:59

    I won’t tell you what happens then

  • 4. Kevil  |  May 2nd, 2008 at 14:01

    I will, they’re all upper-class wankers who live of daddys money, and one of them gets booted out after being particularly incompetant.

    sorry.

  • 5. Chris  |  May 2nd, 2008 at 14:28

    Hardly all upper class. Upper middle middle more like. Simon who got fired a week or two back was common as muck.

    All wankers without a doubt though.

  • 6. Auds  |  May 2nd, 2008 at 15:46

    Indubitably. Especially the 24 year old “bank manager” with a porsche who looks like Matt Lucas portraying Dafydd the only gay in the village. He got fired on Wednesday, but don’t tell Chris, coz I don’t think he has seen it yet.

  • 7. Chris  |  May 2nd, 2008 at 23:20

    I can’t believe you just did that!

    Jesus. Some people. Bang! There goes my Sunday morning at work. Never talking to you about TV again.

  • 8. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 7th, 2008 at 17:07

    It’s a set of shits run by a shit with no fucking redeeming features whatsoever.

    I’d sooner suck jelly through a straw made of limes.

  • 9. Auds  |  May 8th, 2008 at 10:50

    Happy Birthday for yesterday Chris. Did you see The Apprentice last night?

  • 10. Chris  |  May 9th, 2008 at 13:29

    Thanks Auds, and no I didn’t, I’m saving it again, but the bastards who make newspapers have told me which ones got fired. Bastards. Bastarding stupid fucking bastards who are full of bollocks and shite.

  • 11. Auds  |  May 9th, 2008 at 13:56

    well I hope the Apprentice revelations did not sour your birthday celebrations.

  • 12. Chris  |  May 9th, 2008 at 15:12

    No, they happened afterwards.

    I’ve just watched it on the iPlayer and it was thoroughly enjoyable. The bastards are on their way out. Ha-har!

  • 13. Auds  |  May 9th, 2008 at 15:50

    I want Michael out next. He is a little conniving shit.

  • 14. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 13th, 2008 at 17:48

    ITS
    ALL
    C*CK!

  • 15. Chris  |  May 13th, 2008 at 17:52

    I want Alex out. He’s a sly little bastard, staying quiet during the talk and then coming out afterwards like he knew best all along. Get him to be team leader and then have him shot. Er, fired, I mean.

  • 16. Auds  |  May 14th, 2008 at 12:01

    That could be like an Apprentice for Sandanista rebels or something. Someone is crap, and instead of getting fired, gets executed. At least they won’t have to worry about the trolley case and dodgy overcoat.

  • 17. Chris  |  May 14th, 2008 at 22:00

    Yeah, and you’d get rid of that stupid shot of them getting into the taxi, which was obviously filmed in bulk at the start of the series because they’re all identical.

  • 18. Auds  |  May 15th, 2008 at 08:54

    Michael should have gone last night – what a dick – I think Jane Moore was right when she says he probably shouts out his own name during sex.

  • 19. Chris  |  May 15th, 2008 at 15:06

    Yeah, Michael should have gone. He was complaining in the car that it was a stupid idea to have both teams looking at both things, but it was HIS IDEA AT THE START to do it that way!

    He needs taking down a peg or two, ideally by physically lowering him into a vat of flaming acid.

    I don’t know if acid can be set on fire, but if it can’t, I am willing to fund research into ways of achieving that just so he can be dunked in the burning burny liquid.

  • 20. Auds  |  May 15th, 2008 at 16:02

    gosh Chris, with ideas like that, you could really liven up what is becoming a dull and predictable show.

  • 21. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 19th, 2008 at 08:11

    Kev, you know when you feel like you’re invisible?

  • 22. Auds  |  May 19th, 2008 at 08:53

    did someone speak?

  • 23. Kevil  |  May 20th, 2008 at 12:09

    Like a voice on the wind?

  • 24. Auds  |  May 20th, 2008 at 12:30

    Don’t forget, next week’s episode is on on TUESDAY and not WEDNESDAY as there is a REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT football match occurring. England v some other losers.

  • 25. Ian Mac Mac Mac Mac McIver  |  May 20th, 2008 at 12:52

    Never mind me, I’m just Cracking Lyrical about general things. My loins were made for walking after all

    (what?)

Something random

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